Sayings and Quips: 27

If the number twp pencil is the most popular why i

If the shoe fits buy it

If the shoe fits get another one just like it

If the shoe fits wear it

If the world was a logical place men would ride ho

If they do not have chocolate in heaven I am not g

If things get any worse I will have to ask you to

If this is living I would rather be dead

If today was a fish I would throw it back in the r

If two wrongs do not make a right try three

If vegetarians eat vegetables what do humanitarian

If we are not supposed to eat animals why are they

If we call it tourist season why can not we shoot

If we do not succeed we run the risk of failure

If we would stop trying to be happy we could have

If white wine goes with fish do white grapes go wi

If wishes were horses than beggars could ride

If you always do what you always have done you wil

If you are born again do you have two bellybuttons

If you are co dependent please ask someone to pres

If you are going through hell keep going

If you are going to walk on thin ice you might as

If you are not having fun then you are not doing i

If you are not makin waves you are not kicking har

If you are obsessive compulsive press 1 repeatedly

If you are too open minded your brains will fall o

If you ate pasta and antipasta would you still be

If you can lead it to water and force it drink it

If you can not be kind at least have the decency t

If you can not beat them join them

If you can not convince them confuse them

If you can not do the time do not do the crime

If you can not enjoy your company how could anyone

If you can not find it grind it

If you can not learn to do it well learn to enjoy

If you can not run with the big dogs stay on the p

If you can not stand the heat get out of the kitch

If you can not stand the kitchen get a real job

If you can not take the heat stay out of the kitch

If you can not take the heat then get out of the k

If you can not walk the walk do not talk the talk

If you can read this I can hit my brakes and sue y

If you can read this I have lost my trailer

If you can see this you are not blind which is a v

If you can survive death you can probably survive

If you cannot convince them confuse them

If you choke a smurf what color does it turn

If you did not get caught did you really do it

If you do not care where you are then you are not

If you do not have anything nice to say do not say

If you do not like the news go out and make your o

If you enjoy the fruit pluck not the flower

If you had a million shakespeares could they write

If you had everything where would you keep it

If you have seen one you have seen em all

If you jogged backwards would you gain weight

If you lie down with dogs you rise up with fleas

If you look like the photo on your drivers license

If you put it off long enough it might go away

If you smoke after sex you are doing it too fast

If you tell the truth you do not have to remember

If you think education is expensive try ignorance

If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of

If you try and do not succeed cheat Repeat until c

If you try to fail and succeed which have you done

If you understand what you are doing you are not l

If you were any closer it would bite you

If your feet smell and your nose runs you are buil

If your head was not screwed on you would lose tha

If your ship does not come in you have to row out

If your the last one to leave turn out the lights

Ignorance is bliss

Ignorance of the law is no excuse

Ike being nibbled to death by ducks

Ill gotten gains

Illegal drugs are the chlorine in the gene pool

Imaginary friend

Imagination runs riot

Imagine the smell

Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery St

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Importance is always relative

Impotence   natures way of saying no hard feelings

Improve each shining hour

Improves with age

In a blue funk

In a brown study

In a flash

In a garage makes you a car

In a jiffy

In a new york minute

In a nutshell

In a pickle

In a pinch

In a quandary

In a round about way

In a rut

In a trice

In a twinkling of an eye

In a week or ten days

In a word

In a world without walls and fences who needs wind

In an interesting condition

In any way shape or form

In at the death

In bed with ones boots on

In close quarters

In deep shit

In durance vile

In every life a little rain must fall

In for a fleecing

In for a penny in for a pound

In for the long haul

In full cry



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