The Good News for Modern Nerds

I, Ernest N. Prabhakar,

Called by God to serve Him, and self-appointed apostle to the Nerds;

Realizing that people respond to the gospel most when presented in terms of their own language, and that the language of my chosen people, mathematics, is also one of the most universal languages known to man;

Herein have endeavored to translate the essentials of the gospel into Modern Calculus.