World's A StageIf all the world's a stage...
-then I want to be in charge of the trapdoor! |
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Meddle PoliticiansDo not meddle in the affairs of politicians,
for no one looks good in orange and manacles. |
Meddle BeancountersDo not meddle in the affairs of beancounters,
for they control your paycheck.
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Meddle ManagementMeddle in the affairs of management,
so that you may save your boss from destroying the department.
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Meddle SysadminsDo not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins,
for they are subtle and quick to irritate. |
Meddle Hackers"Do not meddle in the affairs of hackers, for they have your credit card numbers." |
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Designated DriverDesignated Driver w/camera:
How much expensive electronics are acquired. |
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Unpopular Officer"How to spot an unpopular officer:
See who the troops salute in sniper territory." |
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End Of The SemesterAll college and university students can sympathize with this lists of symptoms, as they experience them twice or even three times a year. |
Make The Difference"God grant me the composure to accept the things I cannot change,
the bravery to change the things I can change,
and the weaponry to make the difference."
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Moral High Ground"Having the moral high ground is good.
Having the moral high ground and a big gun is better." |
Personal Problems"There are few personal problems that cannot be solved with the proper and judicious use of high explosives."
Good advice. |
Nice Place"Nice Place. What do we get to blow up first?"
Does anything more need to be said? |
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Sanity CheckHelp! Someone slapped a "Stop payment" on my sanity check! |
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I am rootI am root. If you see me laughing, you'd better have a backup. |
USER ERRORUSER ERROR: Replace user and press any key to continue. |
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Jail FriendA good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting there with you saying, "Damn, that was fun!" |
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Violently OpposedPeople are more violently opposed to fur than to leather...
...because it's safer to harass rich women than biker gangs. |
Stupid SayingNo matter how stupid the saying, there's always some idiot who'll put it on a t-shirt. |
Sleep?Sleep? What is this "Sleep" you speak of? |
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Movie DealI would tell you, but my lawyers say I can't say anything until the movie deal is finalized. |
