Damon's Twisted Lingo Shop

Truly Twisted Humor for your everyday life. These products are intentionally adult oriented, but only if you can work through the spoonerisms. These slogans are spitten in roonerisms (written in spoonerisms) Clipping the fonsonants fack and borth is not tough to homprecend. I hope you have some pun with these froducts as I wurn the turds around. Please enjoy my "Little Shop of Warpedness" here at CafePress.
~Damon

Spoonerisms, also known as "metathesis", are a specific form of wordplay involving the swapping of syllables between two words in a phrase (usually exchanging the first syllable of two words), in such a way that the meaning of the phrase is completely altered.

The name comes from one Reverend Spooner, who was a priest and university professor at Oxford, England, and who lived beween 1844 and 1930. He suffered from regular tips of the slung (slips of the tongue), and rapidly became famous for them.

A true story about Rev. Spooner when he was at a dinner at Oxford: He was proposing a toast to begin the evening which was supposed to say, "Let us raise our glasses and toast the dear Queen (Victoria)." What Spooner actually said was, "Let us glase our asses and toast the queer dean."

The famous Dr. Spooner found himself in quite a situation when he was invited to a very formal occasion in England. An occasion at which it was necessary for people to appear in pairs, whether they happened to be husband and wife, significant other, or whatever. And as luck would have it, at the last minute, Mrs. Spooner felt ill, wasn't able to go, and Dr. Spooner hurriedly raced around and found someone else to go with him. As he greeted his hostess, instead of saying "Oh good evening, Mrs. Wellsley. I'm so pleased to be here. And you will be pleased to know that I have, due to the illness of my wife, produced a substitute", he remarked: "You will be so pleased to learn that because of my wife's illness, I have managed to seduce a prostitute."

A fine example of adult listed twingo is a tirade I learned during my mis-spent youth in Smalltown, Tejas. An upper classman named Terry Garner used to say, "Miss on you, Pister! Go back off in your own jackyard, you know too mucking fuch!"

Shappy hopping in the shop where a twist of the tongue can be fun, in more ways than one!