Welcome to SimonSez Designs, your source for fresh new t-shirts and apparel. Don't get caught wearing the same old worn-out styles. Whether you're looking for something funny, clever, witty or just plain unique, we've got you covered.
Browse through the various designs below...click on the picture to see all available products with that particular design. Have a nice day!
Ethnic Rock Stars Check out our collection of "(Insert Ethnic Background) Rock Star" designs and apparel. Wherever it is that you call home, rock it with pride. Great gift for ethnic friends who rock! |
Made from 100% Recycled Atoms At a time when everyone is focused on going green and saving the environment, it's nice to know that your entire body is made from recycled atoms and molecules. 100% Recycled Human Being. |
Political Stuff Check out our ever-growing collection of politically themed shirts and apparel. No matter what your political views are, we've got something for you. Republicans, Democrats and more, Oh My! |
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US Soldier Apparel & Shirts Check out our collection of gifts and apparel for the families and friends of soldiers serving in the US Armed Forces. Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force shirts and apparel to show your pride. |
Adult/Sexual Humor Check out this section for a wide variety of truly tasteless, rude, crude and absolutely priceless gear and apparel of an adult nature. Warning: Some explicit content. |
Mile High Club: Official Member Yep, that's right. You got freaky at 30,000 feet and now you're a member of the Mile High Club. Great attention grabbing shirt, sure to make the opposite sex take notice. |
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Cancer Support Apparel Sweet selection of inspirational apparel for anyone who's life has been changed by cancer. Great gifts your friends, family, oncologist or...heck, just about anyone can appreciate. |
Sexy. Single. [Occupation.] 3 words to describe yourself. What better way to find a potential mate with similar views? Share your career choice, while advertising your availability. Over 50+ occupations available here. |
Fantasy Sports Apparel Whether you're a fantasy sports legend, all star, commissioner, this is the gear for you. Show off your sports knowledge with some awesome new threads. Great gift idea for your fantasy stud. |
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Mind-Warping Illusions Check out this section featuring many optical illusions and mind-bending visual paradoxes. Very Escher-esque and very cool. |
Karaoke Legend C'mon, who doesn't know the guy/gal who would proudly wear this around town (maybe it's you!) Pick one up for your "Karaoke Legend" today. |
Parental Advisory Designs Parental Advisory: No longer do parents only need to worry about 'explicit lyrics.' Today's generation needs a whole new line of warnings to fully encompass their deviousness. |
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I Love Animals (They are delicious) Your vegetarian friends are sure to love this one. You're not a tree-hugging, tofu-eating veg-head. You're a carnivore, a meat eater.....mmm, steak. |
Judge/Lawyer/Law School Click here to check out a collection of law and legal themed designs with the gavel. Great gift ideas for your favorite lawyer, attorney, judge or law school student. |
I Drink Like a Pilot. Remember why flying was scary before 9/11? Yep, that's right....drunken pilots. What? You don't like to fly without having a few drinks first....why should pilots be any different? |
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Craps Legend You're a god with the dice in your hand. Rolling points left and right, hard ways, yo's...there's no stopping ya. Watch out, vegas. You are a craps legend. |
Trailer Park Apparel 4 different trailer park inspired designs available here. Trailer Park Legend, Trailer Park Princess, Trailer Park Pride and the above design as well. Home is where you park it. |
CTU Agent Now you, too, can fight terrorist scum and save the country with your sweet CTU Agent apparel. Jack Bauer would be so proud. |
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2 Golf-Themed Designs Golf Themed Tees. Must have's for that special golfer in your life. "Chicks dig golfers" and "Future PGA Pro" |
Crazy Kracker You're one crazy mutha-f'in kracka. Or maybe you just wish you were. Either way, this tee (with the sweet vintage Coca Cola lettering) is sure to be a hit. |
You Are Unique...Just Like Everybody Else Mom always said you were 'special'. Truth is, everyone else's mom told them the same thing. You are unique, just like everybody else. |
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F.A.D.D. (Friends Against Drunk Dancing) Friends don't let friends make an ass of themselves on the dancefloor when they're trashed. OK, yeah we do...hell, we'll probably take pictures and use them for blackmail. That's what friends are for. |
Visual Mindf*ck Just try to say the actual color, instead of the word. Trickier than it looks, huh? Yet another example of what happens when your brain tries to fit the world into its expectations. |
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Will Do Anything For Money Awesome party shirt. You never know what people might pay you to do until you wear this shirt. Add some alcohol to the mix and you're in business. Will do anything for money. |
I Love Animals. They Are Delicious Share your carnivorous love of tasty animals with the world. Tell those hippies where to shove their tofu burgers. I Love Animals, They Are Delicious. |
Flip Cup Legend Tailgating is not complete without this favorite competitive drinking game. Celebrate your dominance with some flashy new "Flip Cup Legend" gear today. |
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Free Cavity Search Wow, what a deal! Who could pass up such an offer? Once they read the small print, they'll realize you're a dentist and not a pervert. |
Chicks Dig Fishermen Nothing like a man who comes home late, drunk and smelling like dead fish. Don't let em fool ya, the ladies love the fishermen. Chicks dig fishermen. |
Chicks Dig Archers There's something about a man with a bow in his hand, firing arrow after arrow through the wind and into the target. Like a Roman archery god. Bullseye. Chicks dig archers. |
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All Things In Moderation, Including Toleration All this politically correct crap has got to stop. We've gone so far trying not to offend anyone that we've become incredibly bland and watered-down. All things in moderation, including toleration. |
Chicks Dig Divers Maybe it's the tiny little speedos they wear, maybe it's their courage to attempt such crazy maneuvers from great heights, maybe it's the little splash. Whatever it is, chicks dig divers. |
China = Cheaters It seems pretty obvious the Chinese will do anything to win and make their country look good. Underage gymnasts, shady Olympic judges, fake fireworks...cheating and dishonesty is the China way. |
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Chicks Dig Pilots Well, of course chicks dig pilots. All that power and control at their fingertips...what's not to love. Great gift idea for your favorite pilot or flight attendant looking for a little attention. |
This Sentence is False Keep em scratching their heads with this paradox. Well, which one is it? True or false? We may never know. |
Go Horse! The legendary battle cry of Colts fans worldwide...Go Horse! Show your love and support of Peyton, Marvin and the Gang with some awesome apparel today. Let's go Colts! Go HORSE! |
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Chicks Dig Skiers You're a beast on the mountain, a legend on skis...and all the ladies can't get enough of ya. Chicks dig skiers. |
Beer Pong Legend When it comes to Beer Pong (Beirut), you are a God. Nobody dominates the table like you do. Drink up, losers. You are a Beer Pong Legend. |
Cricket Tees A small collection of cricket t-shirts and apparel can be found here. Chicks Dig Cricket, Chicks Dig Cricketers and Chicks Dig All Rounders. |
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Football Themed Tees Check out this section for some football themed apparel for your little star. "Chicks dig running backs", "Future Heisman" and more. |
Judges Rule A little play on words for all the legally-inclined individuals of the world. Whether you're just trying to butter up the judge or state the obvious...judges rule. |
Chicks dig bowlers. It's so obvious, it almost sounds silly. There's nothing like a man who can throw a heavy ball down a narrow lane while simultaneously polishing off a 12-pack of suds. |
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Chicks Dig Hangliders You gotta respect a man who soars around strapped to an over-sized kite, one strong gust of wind away from certain death. Maybe that's why chicks dig hangliders. |
Ninja cleverly disguised as a Nerd Who would've thunk it? That smart guy with the glasses and the math fetish is really a stealthy ninja. Great gift for your favorite nerd, who lives the secret life of the ninja. |
Go Horse! The legendary battle cry of Colts fans worldwide...Go Horse! Show your love and support of Peyton, Marvin and the Gang with some awesome apparel today. Let's go Colts! Go HORSE! |
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Ticket to... These tees feature a couple of 'Admit One' tickets to various great locations such as "The Party in my Pants", "The Gun Show" and "My Bedroom." |
Bowler Babe You're the reason guys show up for their bowling league. You are the Bowler Babe. Without you, they'd just drink on the couch at home. |
Got Balls? (Hanglider) I don't know about you, but the thought a strapping myself to a huge 'kite' and sailing around the sky at the mercy of the wind sounds a bit dangerous. Hangliders, I admire your balls. |
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Chicks Dig Goalies (Soccer) It takes some cajones to stand tall as the last line of defense for your soccer team. The ladies appreciate that. Nothing gets in your net. Chicks dig goalies. |
I Love Animals. Fun to Pet, Delicious to Eat Share your carnivorous love of tasty animals with the world. Tell those hippies where to shove their tofu burgers. I Love Animals. Fun to Pet, Delicious to Eat. |
Chicks Dig Bicycle Kicks Move over Pele, the ladies will be pounding down your door when they see your crazy skills on the pitch. Chicks Dig Bicycle Kicks |
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Hockey Goalie Tees A collection of hockey goalie shirts for your little brick wall. "Chicks dig goalies", "You'll never score" and more. |
Chicks Dig Bowlers Well, duh. Everybody knows that bowlers get all the women...maybe it's their grace...maybe it's their charm...maybe it's their 14 pound balls. Chicks dig bowlers. |
Go Horse! The legendary battle cry of Colts fans worldwide...Go Horse! Show your love and support of Peyton, Marvin, Reggie, Dallas and the rest of the Gang with some awesome apparel today. |
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Got Balls? (Ski Jumper) Well, you pretty much have to if you're going to race down a huge slope and fly several hundred feet off an enormous ramp onto snow and ice below. Ski jumpers, I salute thee. |
Chicks Dig Wrestlers Nothing like a coupla sweaty guys rolling around on a mat to get a woman's motor running. Chicks dig wrestlers. |
I Love MY.... Well, what do you love? Find it here with a huge collection of sweet shirts that play on the famous 'I Love NY' design. |
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Save Suri Awwww, that poor little girl is destined to be a mess. From the scientology brain-washing to the constant focus of the paparazzi, little Suri needs your help. Save Suri from the wrath of TomKat. |
Chicks Dig Balls It takes some serious cajones to be a downhill skier. 70+ mph down an icy slope lined with trees, rocks and many other things that could easily impale a man at that speed. Chicks dig balls. |
Scientology is for Wankers Scientology...ah, what a scam. If you're tired of hearing about scientology and all its little celebrity cult members (Tom Cruise, John Travolta, etc...), then this is the shirt for you. Audit this. |
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No Fat Chicks Alright, so I said it. If you're a chunker chaser, a whalewatcher or ya just have a thing for the biggens, this is not the shirt for you. If you just don't like fat chicks, wear it proud. |
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Chicks Dig Polo Is it the competitive sporting thrill of polo or the beautiful ponies running around? Don't kid yourself, chicks dig polo for the big money, high society lifestyle that surrounds the game. |
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Baseball Tees A collection of baseball themed tees for your little slugger. 'Chicks dig the long ball', 'Future Major Leaguer' and others. |
No Goldiggers Like Kanye says, 'Now I ain't saying she's a goldigger...but she ain't messing with no broke n*ggas'...put them money-chasin' skanks on notice with this fly shirt. |
I've Gone Viral So much talk about viral video clips, or viral soundbytes, or new products going viral these days that I thought it was about time for people to give it a shot. Start the buzz with your new shirt. |
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Drugs Are Good You may be a pharmaceutical sales rep, a doctor or possibly just someone who enjoys a life of drug-induced bliss. Drugs make everything better, and this shirt rocks. |
You Just Got Served. Yep, that's right. You just got served, biaaaaatch. Perfect for the waitress or competitive dancer in your life. |
Future Lawyer You've got justice flowing through your veins and nothing is going to stop you on your way to the top of the legal world. Plus, chicks really dig lawyers. |
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The Professional Bull Rider's Tour Giddy up, cowboy. The ladies are sure to take notice of your new 'Professional Bull Rider's Tour' apparel, even if you're just a rodeo clown who dreams of someday riding the big bulls. |
Chicks Dig The Wheels There's something about a man in a chair that women simply can't resist. Unexplainable, but time and time again the theory holds true. Chicks dig the wheels. |
Polygamath It's all about numbers when you're a polygamist. Another wife? Sure, add one more to the tally. And another, and another...polygamy rules. |
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Chicks Dig Scientists A collection of 'Chicks Dig' shirts (Biologists, Chemists, Physicists) can be found here. Have a look. |
White Trash Exquisite in its beauty and simplicity. Straight from the trailer park with love, this "White Trash" tee is sure to be the perfect addition to your collection. |
"Future CEO" With all the corporate scandal in the world these days, this design sadly rings true. Funny, nonetheless. Perfect for your little 'overachiever'. |
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Ask Me About Band Camp So, this one time...at Band Camp. You all know the story behind this one. American Pie inspired. Band Campers unite, and show your pride with your band-geek approved new shirt. |
Future Grandmaster Serve warning to your opponents...you're on a journey to the top and nothing will stand in your way. Future Grandmaster. |
Ninja cleverly disguised as Skinny White Boy Who would've thunk it? That skinny dude with the pasty skin and awkward style is really a stealthy ninja. Great gift for your favorite skinny guy, who lives the secret life of the ninja. |
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Int'l League of Grandmasters Ok, so there's not really an "Int'l League of Grandmasters," a highly secretive, select organization of the best chess players in world. Or is there? |
Chicks Dig Nerds. All the ladies love a smart guy (doesn't hurt to be rich, too). Flash your proclivity for knowlege with this awesome tee. |
Wiki-maniac So you probably spend more time on Wikipedia then you should...but hey, what's wrong with that? Share your Wiki-love with a sweet new 'Wiki-maniac' shirt |
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Chicks Dig Fencing I don't know much about fencing, but I know that the ladies enjoy it. Spread the love with your sweet new 'Chicks Dig Fencing' apparel. |
Air Guitar Legend So what if you've got no 'traditional' musical talent. You play a mean air guitar and your solos are legendary. Rock on, Air Guitar Legend. |
You are unique...just like everybody else. Like your mom used to say,"You are unique, a perfect example of how God makes each of us different" well, guess what? We're all unique in that exact same way, so I guess we're not so special after all |
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Int'l Council of Quantum Mechanics The International Council of Quantum Mechanics. Why yes, I am a member...funny you should ask. Impress your friends (and the ladies) with your knowlege of the atomic world. |
Int'l League of Fencing Masters The International League of Fencing Masters, eh? Fictional, sure...but no one else knows that. |
Barry's Talent Juice Well, you're not such a slugger without your beloved 'talent juice', are you Mr. Bonds? Perfect gift for any baseball purist, Dodger fan or Giant hater. Just say no to steroids, kids. |
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Xocai Related Gear Click the above link to view our collection of Xocai and dark chocolate themed designs. Perfect gift for your favorite chocoholic. |
Major League Daytrader You trade like a pro. Bulls, bears, buy, sell, puts, calls, long, short...doesn't matter how you play it as long as it makes money. Welcome to the big leagues, Major League Daytrader. |
The Bird Flu is Coming! Look OUT! The Bird Flu is coming for you and there's nowhere to hide. Sensationalized media is great, ain't it? |
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I Broke the Code. OK, so you only read the book and that pretty much walked you through everything...but old Robert Langdon couldn't have done it without your help. |
Hazardous to your Health Serve warning to all those you encounter: Hanging around you could be hazardous to their health. |
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Buck Fin-Laden Why? Cuz, fuck em...that's why. Don't let the terrorists win, buy these sweet shirts and show your support of the war against terror. |
Who farted? Alright, who dropped ass? Wear this shirt and you can blame all your putrid flatulence on others. Surely the guy with the fart shirt didn't do it...or did he? |
Golfer Girl You're a force on the course. Golf's not just a boy's game anymore. Perfect gift idea for your little Annika. |
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Impossible Shape Sweet design (with the added vintage effect) for anyone who enjoys this sort of mind-bending visual paradox. |
Booze & Drug Themed Tees Original Tees under the influence of various controlled substances. *Explicit content. Mature audiences only* |
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Professional Meth Chef 4 years of chemistry at your local college and now you're finally ready to answer your life's calling...cooking up meth. Mom and Dad must be so proud. |
Buck Fin-Laden Why? Cuz, fuck em...that's why. Don't let the terrorists win, buy these sweet shirts and show your support of the war against terror. |
Blog Or Die Yep, that's right. Blog or die. To a die-hard blogger, nothing could be more true. Blog on. |
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Daytrader So you like to dabble in the stock market a little bit...or perhaps you know someone who does. It's not really gambling if you call it 'investing.' |
Filthy Rich Get rich, die trying or just inherit all of Grandpa's money and be a snotty little brat. Sure to irritate all of those 'regular people' in your life. Never miss an opportunity to remind them. |
I Make Bank. I Make Bank. Another day, another stack of cash for you, Mr. Moneybags. Especially effective with the ladies (even if it's just a lie!) |
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Wanna feel my bicep? Watch out ladies! Big guns coming your way. Anyone know which way to the beach? Show off your killer biceps in this sexy shirt. |
Gemini (Fish 69) Gemini Sign (or as I like to call it, Fish 69) Is it even possible for fish to 69? Sure, why not. Fish need love, too. |
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iPoo Alright, we've all seen hundreds of these iPod spoofs, so here's my little contribution. Perfect for your little stinker. |
Broke Ass Keep 'em guessing with your sweet new "Broke Ass" t-shirt. Think of it as your own personal "Gold digger repellent." Even funnier if you're actually stinkin' rich. Ah, so many options. |
Smells Like Updood... Ah, the laughs never cease with this mindless (although hilarious) joke. Smells like updude...Your friends will ask, "what's updude?" and the joke is on. |
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Go Jihad Yourself. I don't know what I'd say if I ever met Bin Laden or any of his terror-squad bitches, but I'm sure it would be something along these lines. That, and I'd throw in a 'camelfucker' jab at the end. |
Ancient Hotties Not quite sure what to make of these two hotties from the past...early lesbians? palace dancers? twister inventors? All I know is that they're hot and I like it. |
I Love Wine. So you enjoy your wine. You're a bit of an expert, a connoisseur, if you will. Wine in a box is just not your style anymore. Share your love with the world. |
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Happily Married. Happily married or happily delusional? Whatever it is, it's too late for you now...share your pain with the world. |
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Guns...Crazy White Kids Tasteless and absolutely politically incorrect, but sadly true. OK, so maybe it's a little bit funny, too. Guns Don't kill People...Crazy Ass White Kids Do. |
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