Behind The Music: Blue Oyster Cult
Bruce Dickinson.....Christopher Walken
Eric Bloom.....Chris Parnell
Buck Dharma.....Horatio Sanz
Gene Frenkle.....Will Ferrell
Announcer: After a series of staggering defeats, Blue Oyster Cult assembled in the recording studio in late 1976 for a session with famed producer Bruce Dickinson. And, luckily for us, the cameras were rolling.
Bruce Dickinson: Alright, guys, I think we're ready to lay this first track down. By the way, my name is Bruce Dickinson. Yes, the Bruce Dickinson. And I gotta tell you: fellas.. you have got what appears to be a dynamite sound!
Eric Bloom: Coming from you, Bruce, that means a lot.
Buck Dharma: Yeah. I mean, you're Bruce Dickinson!
Alan: It's incredible!
Bobby: I can't believe Bruce Dickinson digs our sound!
Bruce Dickinson: Easy, guys.. I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records. [ the group laughs ] Alright, here we go. "Don't Fear the Reaper" - take one. [ exits into the control booth ]
[ the group begins the song. Bobby slaps the drums, Eric jams his guitar, and Gene bangs on a cowbell. ]
Eric: [ distracted by Gene banging the cowbell ] Okay! Wait! Wait! [ the group cuts off their instruments ] Bruce, could you come in here for a minute, please?
Bruce Dickinson: [ stepping out of the booth ] That was gonna be a great track. Guys, what's the deal?
Eric: Are you sure that was sounding okay?
Bruce Dickinson: I'll be honest.. fellas, it was sounding great. But.. I could've used a little more cowbell. So.. let's take it again.. and, Gene.
Gene Frenkle: Yeah?
Bruce Dickinson: Really explore the studio space this time. I mean, really.. explore the space. I like what I'm hearing.
[ the group starts the song again, as Gene bangs more wildly onto the cowbell while dancing crazily. In the booth, Walken is smiling to keep from laughing. Before the session is interrupted, Frenkle misses a beat on his cowbell.]
Eric: Okay, wait! Stop! I'm sorry. Bruce, could you come back in here, please?
Bruce Dickinson: [ stepping out of the booth ] Fellas.. now, we just wasted two good tracks! That last one was even better than the first!
Eric: Well, it's just that I find Gene's cowbell playing distracting! If I'm the only one, I'll shut up.
Buck Dharma: It was pretty rough..
Gene Frenkle: You know, I could pull back a little. If you'd like.
Bruce Dickinson: Not too much, though! Fellas, I'm telling you - you're gonna want that cowbell on the track!
Gene Frenkle: You know what? It's fine. Let's just do this thing.
[ the band starts the song once more, with Gene banging the cowbell right next to Eric's ear until Eric pushes him, causing Horatio Sanz to fall ]
Eric: [ stopping the song again, fighting Gene ] Come on, people!
Bruce Dickinson: [ running out of the booth again ] That.. that doesn't work for me. I gotta have more cowbell!
Alan: [ grabs Gene's shirt ] Don't blow this for us, Gene!
Bobby: [ cracks up ] Yeah, quit being so selfish, Gene!
Gene Frenkle: Can I just say one thing?
Bruce Dickinson: Say it, baby. Say it.
Gene Frenkle: I'm standing here, staring at Bruce Dickinson!
Bruce Dickinson: The cock of the walk, baby!
Gene Frenkle: And if Bruce Dickinson wants more cowbell, we should probably give him more cowbell!
Bruce Dickinson: Say it, baby!
Gene Frenkle: And, Bobby, you are right - I am being selfish. But the last time I checked, we don't have a whole lot of songs that feature the cowbell.
Bruce Dickinson: I gotta have more cowbell, baby!
Gene Frenkle: ..and I'll be doing myself a disservice -- [begins to slightly laugh. Jimmy Fallon turns away and bites down on his drumstick to keep from laughing] -- and every member in this band, if I don't perform the hell out of this.
Bruce Dickinson: Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more cowbell!
Gene Frenkle: Thanks, Bruce. But I think, maybe if I just leave.. and, maybe I'll come back later, and we can lay down the cowbell. [ starts to leave the studio ]
Bruce Dickinson: Aw, baby..
Eric: Gene, wait! Why don't you lay down that cowbell right now. With us. Together.
[ everyone agrees ]
Gene Frenkle: Do you mean that, Eric?
Buck Dharma: He speaks for all of us.
Gene Frenkle: Thank you.
Bruce Dickinson: Babies.. before we're done here.. y'all be wearing gold-plated diapers.
Alan: [ confused ] What does that mean?
Bruce Dickinson: Never question Bruce Dickinson! Roll it! [ exits back to booth ]
Eric: [ ready to lay the complete track down ] 1, 2, 3, 4.
[ the band starts up again, this time Frenkle is playing the cowbell in tune with the band. Close-up on Gene as he bangs the cowbell to freeze-frame with graphic: "In Memoriam: Gene Frenkle: 1950-2000" ]
Memorable Quotes from
Star Wars (1977)
[a large-eyed creature gives Luke a rough shove]
Dr. Evazan: [explaining] He doesn't like you.
Luke: I'm sorry.
Dr. Evazan: I don't like you either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems.
Luke: I'll be careful.
Dr. Evazan: You'll be dead!
Obi-Wan: [intervening] This little one's not worth the effort. Now come, let me get you something.
[Dr. Evazan shoves Luke across the room and pulls out a blaster]
Bartender: No blasters! No blasters!
[In a flash, he and his alien companion Pomda Baba are on the floor with a slashed torso and a severed arm respectively]
Darth Vader: I have you now!
General Tagge: What of the Rebellion? If the Rebels have obtained a complete technical reading of this station, it is possible, however unlikely, they might find a weakness and exploit it.
Darth Vader: The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands.
Admiral Motti: Any attack made by the Rebels against this station would be a useless gesture, no matter what technical data they have obtained. This station is now the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it.
Imperial Officer: Where are you taking this... thing?
Governor Tarkin: Obi-Wan Kenobi?
Darth Vader: He is here.
Governor Tarkin: What makes you think so?
Darth Vader: A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.
Governor Tarkin: Surely he must be dead by now.
Darth Vader: Don't underestimate the Force.
Princess Leia: I don't know who you are or where you've come from, but from now on you'll do as I say, okay?
Princess Leia: But Alderaan is peaceful! We have no weapons, you can't possibly...
Governor Tarkin: [impatiently] Would you prefer another target, a military target? Then name the system! I grow tired of asking this so it'll be the last time: Where is the rebel base?
Princess Leia: Dantooine. They're on Dantooine.
Governor Tarkin: There. See, Lord Vader, she can be reasonable. Continue with the operation. You may fire when ready.
Princess Leia: What?
Governor Tarkin: You're far too trusting. Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration - but don't worry; we'll deal with your rebel friends soon enough.
Obi-Wan: That's no moon. It's a space station.
Luke: Listen, I can't get involved. I've got work to do. It's not that I like the Empire; I hate it. But there's nothing I can do about it right now... It's all such a long way from here.
Obi-Wan: That's your uncle talking.
Obi-Wan: The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.
Han Solo: Well, you can forget your troubles with those Imperial slugs. I told you I'd outrun 'em.
[Nobody is listening]
Han Solo: Don't everyone thank me at once.
Han Solo: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
Governor Tarkin: The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away.
General Tagge: But that's impossible. How will the Emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy?
Governor Tarkin: The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station.
Luke: I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you.
Princess Leia: You're who?
C-3PO: We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life.
Princess Leia: General Kenobi: Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars; now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person; but my ship has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to Alderaan has failed. I've placed information vital to the survival of the rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope.
Princess Leia: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope.
Obi-Wan: I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did. It's your father's lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster, but an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times, before the Empire.
Luke: How did my father die?
Obi-Wan: A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He betrayed and murdered your father.
Obi-Wan: Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.
Luke: I don't understand how we got by those troops. I thought we were dead.
Obi-Wan: The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.
Han Solo: Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie here tells me you're lookin' for passage to the Alderaan system?
Obi-Wan: Yes indeed, if it's a fast ship.
Han Solo: Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?
Luke: [on first seeing the Millenium Falcon] What a piece of junk!
Han Solo: She'll make point five past lightspeed. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. I've made a lot of special modifications myself.
Han Solo: Stay sharp. There's two more coming in. They'll try and cut us off.
Luke: Why don't you outrun them? I thought you said this thing was fast.
Han Solo: Watch your mouth kid, or you're gonna find yourself floating home. We'll be safe enough once we make the jump to hyperspace. Besides, I know a few maneuvers. We'll lose em'!
[the ship shudders as an explosion flashes outside the window]
Han Solo: Here's where the fun begins!
Obi-Wan: How long before you can make the jump to light speed?
Han Solo: It'll take a few moments to get the coordinates from the navi-computer.
[the ship begins to rock violently as lasers hit it]
Luke: Are you kidding? At the rate they're gaining...
Han Solo: Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy!
Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Darth Vader: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
Princess Leia: Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.
Governor Tarkin: Charming to the last. You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life.
Princess Leia: I'm surprised that you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.
Governor Tarkin: Princess Leia, before your execution, you will join me at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now.
Princess Leia: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.
C-3PO: Listen to them, they're dying, R2. Curse my metal body. I wasn't fast enough. It's all my fault. My poor master.
[referring to Obi Wan]
Governor Tarkin: If you're right, he must not be allowed to escape.
Darth Vader: Escape is not his plan. I must face him. Alone.
[Two stormtroopers are posted near the tractor beam power terminal]
Stormtrooper: Do you know what's going on?
Other stormtrooper: Maybe it's another drill.
Darth Vader: I sense something. A presence I've not felt since...
Obi-Wan: Luke, there was nothing you could have done, had you been there. You would have been killed, too, and the droids would now be in the hands of the Empire.
Luke: I want to come with you to Alderaan. There is nothing here for me now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like my father.
C-3PO: Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease.
C-3PO: We're doomed.
Han Solo: Wonderful girl. Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her.
Han Solo: Damn fool, I knew you were going to say that.
Obi-Wan: Who's the more foolish: The fool, or the fool who follows him?
Han Solo: Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy.
Princess Leia: Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Han Solo: Get in there you big furry oaf. I don't care what you smell.
Han Solo: This is not going to work.
Luke: Why didn't you say so before?
Han Solo: I did say so before.
Han Solo: Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me.
Princess Leia: It's a wonder you're still alive.
[Pushing past Chewbacca]
Princess Leia: Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my way?
Han Solo: No reward is worth this.
[Princess Leia gets her first look at the Millennium Falcon]
Princess Leia: You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.
[Luke blows up his first TIE fighter]
Luke: Got 'im! I got 'im!
Han Solo: Great, kid. Don't get cocky.
Princess Leia: If money is all you love, then that's what you'll receive.
[after a successful rescue of Princess Leia]
Luke: So, what do you think of her, Han?
Han Solo: I'm tryin' not to, kid.
Luke: [sotto voce] Good.
Han Solo: [baiting him] Still, she's got a lot of spirit. I don't know, whaddya think? You think a princess and a guy like me...
Luke: [quickly] No.
Luke: So... you got your reward and you're just leaving then?
Han Solo: That's right, yeah. I got some old debts I've got to pay off with this stuff. Even if I didn't, you don't think I'd be fool enough to stick around here, do you? Why don't you come with us? You're pretty good in a fight. We could use you.
Luke: Come on. Why don't you take a look around? You know what's about to happen, what they're up against. They could use a good pilot like you. You're turning your back on them.
Han Solo: What good's a reward if you ain't around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain't my idea of courage. It's more like... suicide.
Luke: All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that's what you're best at, isn't it?
[starts to storm off]
Han Solo: Hey, Luke... may the Force be with you.
[Luke exits. Chewie growls]
Han Solo: What're you lookin' at? I know what I'm doin'.
Darth Vader: The Force is strong with this one.
Darth Vader: Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans! And bring me the passengers, I want them alive!
Princess Leia: Darth Vader. Only you could be so bold.
[R2-D2 and Chewbacca are playing the holographic game aboard the Millennium Falcon]
C-3PO: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
Han Solo: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee.
C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
Han Solo: That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.
C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win.
Darth Vader: I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I met you I was but the learner. Now, *I* am the master.
Obi-Wan: Only a master of evil, Darth.
Han Solo: Not a bad bit of rescuing, huh? You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.
Princess Leia: That doesn't sound too hard.
Darth Vader: Your powers are weak, old man.
Obi-Wan: You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
Obi-Wan: The Force will be with you, always.
Luke: I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters.
[X-wings are approaching Death Star]
Wedge Antilles (Red 2): Look at the size of that thing.
Red Leader: Cut the chatter, Red 2.
Commander #1: We've analyzed their attack, sir, and there is a danger. Should I have your ship standing by?
Governor Tarkin: Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.
Obi-Wan: Use the Force, Luke.
Aunt Beru: Where are you going?
Luke: Looks like I'm going nowhere... I have to go finish cleaning those 'droids.
Aunt Beru: [after Luke leaves] Owen, he can't stay here forever, most of his friends have gone. It means so much to him.
Uncle Owen: Well, I'll make it up to him next year, I promise.
Aunt Beru: Luke's just not a farmer, Owen. He has too much of his father in him.
Uncle Owen: That's what I'm afraid of.
Officer Cass: Our scout ships have reached Dantooine. They found the remains of a Rebel base, but they estimate that it has been deserted for some time. They are now conducting an extensive search of the surrounding systems.
Governor Tarkin: [refering to Leia] She lied. She lied to us.
Darth Vader: I told you she would never consciously betray the Rebellion.
Governor Tarkin: Terminate her. Immediately.
[approaching the Death Star]
Luke: I have a very bad feeling about this.
Luke: You know, between his howling and you blasting everything in sight, it's a wonder the whole station doesn't know we're here.
Han Solo: Bring 'em on, I'd prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around.
Han Solo: Where did you dig up that old fossil?
Luke: Ben is a great man.
Han Solo: Yeah, great at getting us into trouble.
Princess Leia: Your friend is quite a mercenary. I wonder if he really cares about anything... or anybody.
Luke: I care.
Luke: [griping about Tatooine] If there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from.
C-3PO: Is there anything I can do?
Luke: Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock.
[comm is blinking, Han hits the button]
Han Solo: Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal.
Voice: What happened?
Han Solo: Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
Voice: We're sending a squad up.
Han Solo: Uh, uh, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a minute to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous.
Voice: Who is this? What's your operating number?
Han Solo: Uh...
Han Solo: [mutters] Boring conversation anyway.
Han Solo: Luke, we're gonna have company!
Princess Leia: Into the garbage chute, flyboy.
Luke: I'm not such a bad pilot myself.
Obi-Wan: In my experience, there's no such thing as luck.
Luke: Hey Biggs, I told you I'd make it.
Biggs: It'll be like old times, they'll never stop us.
[C-3PO is tangled up in wires after a run-in with tie fighters]
C-3PO: Help. I think I'm melting. This is all your fault.
C-3PO: Master Luke, sir. Pardon me for asking, but what should R2 and I do if we're discovered here?
Luke: Lock the door.
Han Solo: And hope they don't have blasters.
C-3PO: That isn't very reassuring.
Uncle Owen: Have you seen Luke this morning?
Aunt Beru: He said that he had some things to do before he started, so he left early.
Uncle Owen: Did he take those two new droids with him?
Aunt Beru: I think so.
Uncle Owen: Well, he'd better have those units in the South Ridge repaired by midday, or there'll be hell to pay.
Stormtrooper: Let me see your identification.
Obi-Wan: [influencing the stormtrooper's mind] You don't need to see his identification.
Stormtrooper: We don't need to see his identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: These aren't the droids we're looking for.
Obi-Wan: He can go about his business.
Stormtrooper: You can go about your business.
Obi-Wan: Move along.
Stormtrooper: Move along... move along.
Han Solo: YAHOOOOO! You're all clear, kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home.
Princess Leia: They let us go. It was the only reason for the ease of our escape.
Han Solo: Easy? You call that easy?
Princess Leia: They're tracking us.
Han Solo: Not this ship, sister.
Princess Leia: Well, at least the information in R2 is still intact.
Han Solo: What's so important? What's he carrying?
Darth Vader: Today will be a day long remembered. It has seen the death of Kenobi, and will soon see the end of the Rebellion.
Obi-Wan: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Luke: What are you doing hiding back there?
C-3PO: It wasn't my fault, sir, please don't deactivate me. I told R2-D2 not to go but he's faulty, malfunctioning. 'Kept babbling on about his mission.
Luke: [knowing his new acquaintance only as 'Ben'] He claims to be the property of an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Is he a relative of yours? Do you know what he's talking about?
Obi-Wan: Obi-Wan Kenobi? Obi-Wan... Now, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time... A long time.
Luke: I think my uncle knows him. He said he was dead.
Obi-Wan: Oh, he's not dead... Not yet.
Luke: You know him?
Obi-Wan: Of course I know him: He's me.
Luke: It's a good thing you have these compartments.
Han Solo: Yeah, I use them for smuggling. I'd never thought I'd be smuggling myself in them.
[as the garbage compactor closes in]
Han Solo: One thing's for sure, we're all gonna be a lot thinner.
C-3PO: I've just about had enough of you. Go that way. You'll be malfunctioning within a day, you near-sighted scrap pile. And don't let me catch you following me begging for help because you won't get it.
[a group of Stormtroopers have found the escape pod]
Stormtrooper Officer: Someone WAS in the pod. The tracks lead of in this direction.
Stormtrooper: [holding up a ring of metal] : Look sir, Droids.
C-3PO: That malfunctioning little twirp, this is all his fault.
Princess Leia: I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan...
Darth Vader: You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away!
Governor Tarkin: Perhaps she would respond to an alternative form of persuasion.
Darth Vader: What do you mean?
Governor Tarkin: I think it is time we'd demonstrated the full power of this station. Set course for Alderaan.
Governor Tarkin: The Jedi are extinct. Their fire has gone out of the universe.
Darth Vader: And now, your highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden rebel base...
Darth Vader: I will take them myself. Cover me.
TIE-pilot: Yes, sir.
Han Solo: What kept you?
Princess Leia: We ran into some old friends.
Imperial Officer: We count 30 rebel ships, lord Vader, but they are so small they're evading our turbo lasers.
Darth Vader: We'll have to destroy them ship to ship. Get the crews to their fighters.
Governor Tarkin: Are they away?
Darth Vader: They just made the jump into hyperspace.
Governor Tarkin: And you're sure the homing beacon is secure onboard their ship? I'm taking an awful risk, Vader. This had better work.
Princess Leia: The Imperial Senate will not sit still for this. When they hear you've attacked a diplomatic...
Darth Vader: Don't act so surprised, your highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.
Princess Leia: [to Han] : I knew there was more to you than money!
[Han, Luke, Leia and Chewie land in the trash compactor]
Han Solo: What an incredible smell you've discovered! Let's get out of here! Get away from there...
Luke: No! Wait!
[Han draws his laser pistol and fires at the hatch. The laser bolt ricochets wildly around the small room. Everyone dives for cover in the garbage as the bolt finally explodes]
Luke: Will you forget it? I already tried it. It's magnetically sealed!
Princess Leia: Put that thing away, you're gonna get us all killed!
Han Solo: Absolutely, Your Worship. Look, I had everything under control until you led us down here! It's not going to take them long to figure out what happened to us.
Princess Leia: It could've been worse.
[Garbage creature growls]
Han Solo: It's worse.
[a group of Stormtroopers are chasing Han Solo and Chewbacca down a corridor]
Stormtrooper: Close the blast doors!
[the doors shut just after Han and Chewie run through the doorway, locking the Stormtroopers out]
Other stormtrooper: Open the blast doors, open the blast doors!
Governor Tarkin: Yes?
Voice: We've captured a freighter entering the remains of the Alderaan system. Its markings match the ship that blasted its way out of Mos Eisley.
Darth Vader: They must be trying to return the stolen plans to the princess. She may yet be of some use to us.
[Luke and Leia are about to swing over the hole - Leia gives Luke a kiss]
Princess Leia: For luck.
Red Six: I got a problem here.
Red Six: I can hold it.
Biggs: Pull up!
Red Six: No, I'm all right... ahhh!
[Porkin's fighter explodes in a ball of fire]
Princess Leia: It seems like you've managed to cut of our only escape route.
Han Solo: Maybe you would like it back in your cell, your highness?
[Han is chasing some Stormtroopers]
Princess Leia: He certainly has courage...
Luke: Yeah, but what good will it do us if he gets himself killed? Come on!
[Luke and Leia run off in the opposite direction]
[first title cards]
Title card/crawl: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
Title card/crawl: It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the Death Star, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet. Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy...
C-3PO: Did You hear that? They shut down the main reactor. We'll be destroyed for sure. This is madness.
C-3PO: You must repair him! Sir, if any of my circuits or gears will help, I'll gladly donate them.
Luke: He'll be all right.
[while fighting with Obi-Wan]
Darth Vader: You should not have come back!
[Luke is practicing lightsaber drills against a remote]
Han Solo: Good against remotes is one thing. Good against the living, that's something else.
[Han has shot Greedo]
Han Solo: [to the Bartender] Sorry about the mess!
[tosses some coins onto the bar and walks out]
Han Solo: What an incredible smell you've discovered!
Princess Leia: This some rescue. What, you came in here, you don't have a plan for getting out?
They call him the ''Naked Zorro.''
Though he's far from the noble swashbuckler of lore and screen, his escapades are the buzz in the quaint seat of Bucks County, where a Main Street pub sells Naked Zorro T-shirts and a radio station recently held a ''Let's Look for Zorro Night.''
Even items ranging from hats and T-shirts to boxer shorts and thongs bearing the phrase ''Support Naked Zorro,'' can be bought online through cafepress.com.
''It's almost like a carnival atmosphere,'' complained Doylestown police Lt. Michael Cummings, who said the department has added about three officers a day to shifts in response to the Naked Zorro case. ''This is a serious event. We don't want that type of atmosphere. We have victims.''
Police have released a composite sketch in hopes of unmasking the Naked Zorro, who elsewhere has spawned copycats who wear capes and carry swords. Police in Upper Merion Township, Montgomery County, received a report that a masked man exposed himself to a woman as she jogged inside her apartment complex in the early morning hours of June 6, said Chief Ron Fonock.
While the Naked Zorro is believed responsible for flashing 11 women and girls, the Upper Merion perpetrator appears to be a copycat, Cummings said.
''There have been what amounts to copycat sightings all over,'' he said. ''There was certain terminology used in ours'' that was not used in others, he said.
Danielle Lamina, a bartender at Mesquito Grille on State Street in Doylestown, said the Naked Zorro has ''been the talk of the town.''
''A lot of people think it's a harmless joke,'' said Lamina, who said she would probably laugh at the man if he confronted her. ''I don't think it's really that offensive.''
For $10, anyone can stop in Finney's, a pub on Main Street, and buy a Naked Zorro T-shirt, now in limited supply. The black cotton shirt has a picture of a small white mask between the words ''Doylestown, PA. Home of the Naked Zorro'' on its left breast.
But to some, a naked man who stalks women is neither funny nor fodder for a T-shirt.
Larisa Gudman, who works in a nail salon on Main Street, said she is scared to walk out of her shop alone at night.
''Sometimes I work late in the salon,'' she said. ''I don't know what is on his mind. If he is some crazy person, who knows what he would do?''
Doylestown is a normally quiet community of families, churches and respectable businesses, said Melissa Winans, who works in a borough convenience store.
''I would just ask him what is he thinking?'' Winans said. ''What is he on? 'What did you take today?'''
The Naked Zorro exposed himself to three teenage girls on May 27 on Hart Avenue near Clinton Street in Doylestown Township, Cummings said.