ottoblotto : Favorite Sayings

This little collection of sayings has something to offend everyone. Perhaps you know someone who needs one of these.

OTD - Obsessive Texting Disorder You see them on the streets, in the malls, and behind the wheel of half the vehicles on the road. Obsessive texters - BEWARE!	I'm Not Old I'm not old, I just need some WD-40.	Obsessive Coupon Disorder This is dedicated to my father, the King of Coupon Shopping.
Obsessive Cellphone Disorder Everyone knows someone with this affliction; perhaps that someone is you?	Formerly Hip Yes, well, once upon a time I was hip.	Obsessive Catfish Disorder II You can never spend too much time fishing.
Obsessive Cat Disorder You can never have too many cats.	Some Assembly Required Some Assembly Required makes a great design for a t-shirt for the Santa in your house to wear on Christmas Eve, and possibly on Christmas Day as well. Better buy two.	It's My Kids' Fault There are things you'd never choose to do if it weren't for your kids...
It's My Mother's Fault A likely person to take the blame.	It's My Father's Fault Who can you blame? Hmm....	Scapegoat Everyone want to blame someone.
It's My X's Fault X is a good name for him. Or her. Whatever.	Not My Idea It's good to have a disclaimer these days.	Low Wide and Handsome Low, wide, and handsome is an adequate description of many Americans. Perhaps someone you know?
Token Black Friend This section is dedicated to my son, the only person of color in an otherwise beige family.	Token White Friend Made especially for you.	Ask me about my Pink slip Pink slipped? An all too familiar phrase today.
Ponytail I only wear the ponytail to hide the valve stem.	Token Straight Friend Possibly a good disclaimer when visiting a gay bar after work with friends.	Token Gay Friend Everyone needs a token gay friend.
Ask Me About My Foreclosure A sad sign of the times.	Great Personality Yes, but what does she look like?	Token Jewish Friend For the token Jew in any group.
It's My Husband's Fault He's probably used to being blamed, so why not?	Token Christian Friend Been there.	Vertically Challenges I'm not fat, I'm vertically challenged.
Token Geek Friend You know them. They'll someday rule the world, these geeks.	Token Bohemian Friend There's one in most every crowd.	Don't Make Me Don't make me break out in Tourette's
Obsessive Catfish Disorder You can never spend too much time fishing.	My Heart is in Forks My heart is in Forks. Where's yours?	Trophy Wife If you've got it, flaunt it. If you're dillusional, well, flaunt that, too.
Trophy Wife If you've got it, flaunt it. If you're dillusional, well, flaunt that, too.	It's My Wife's Fault So listen, wear this at your own risk.	Trophy Wife If you've got it, flaunt it. If you're dillusional, well, flaunt that, too.
Pool Boy Nothing like hanging by the pool, watching the pool boy clean.	It's My Boss's Fault Why not blame him? You'll be out of a job soon anyway.	Pool Boy Nothing like hanging by the pool, watching the pool boy clean.