My Old Shop Teacher A surgeon with a vast scalpel saying to a terrified patient, "Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?" |
The 1st 30 Years of Teaching Two teachers walk by a group of people fighting and hitting each other over the head with bouquets of flowers. The older teacher says, "Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest. |
Student Achievement Statistics Someone in a school office saying, "Remember, Bob, statistics of student achievement are in the eye of the manipulator." |
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Eat Grad Students A cannibal saying to another, "I'm getting too old to hunt. Let's contact that professor who wanted to study us and eat the students he sends to do the research." |
Teachers w/ Chalk Allergies Kids in a class are lying on the ground in chairs that have blown over after their teacher has sneezed. One says, "Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?" |
Humpty Dumpty & Shop Class One of the king's men saying to Humpty Dumpty, “I bet we would have been able to put you together again if all the king’s schools hadn’t cut all the king’s shop classes.” |
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Taunting Security “The school’s security staff began to think Fred was deliberately taunting them with his latest body piercing.” A punk with an arrow through his head walks through a metal detector. |
Who's Your Guru? “How to know if a guru has been possessed by your third grade teacher’s spirit.” Someone asks an old man on a mountain, "What is the meaning of life?" The man says, "Go look it up in a dictionary.” |
Shooting Trash Baskets A janitor cleaning up trash after a basket ball game saying, “Kids can shoot a basket from 50 feet away, but can't hit a trash can two inches from their noses.” |
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Interpreters for the Dead A vampire reading a school activities board sign that says, "All activities at this school are accessible to the disabled. Interpreters for the dead are available." |
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