You know how sometimes you burp with an accidental bit of sick in it? That never happens to Lynda. She's better than you. She has a shell encrusted phone. She likes "Battlestar Gallactica." She's 41 years old. She is probably nauseous right now. She has cable. She has perfect toes. One of her eyes sees better than the other. She wishes Madeline Khan was still alive. She's slept with hotter men than you. She frequently defies gravity. She lives in Minnesota. She can't watch people brush their teeth. She makes sushi. She once took a bellydance class. She's never broken a bone. She likes being afraid of heights. She eats cheese popcorn with a spoon. She is prepared for an apocalypse. She likes shiny things...