» I Own Blackacre
» Law School Drinking Journal
» Fee Simple Absolute
» Almost a Lawyer
» CIVIL PROCEDURE - FRCP 12(b)(6)
» CONTRACT LAW - Carbolic Smokeball
» CONTRACT LAW - Estopp
» CONTRACT LAW - You Down With The UCC?
» PROPERTY LAW - Adverse Possession Female
» Adverse Possession Male
» Skilled Oralist
» TORT LAW - Got Res Ipsa?
» You Got Served!
» Easement On Your Mom
» Terry Frisk
» Prosecutor
» Lawyer's Briefs
» Joint and Several Liability
» TORT LAW - Loss of Consortium
» Boston Sucks
» Billable Hours Male
» Billable Hours Female
» Hugo Black
» Negligence Per Se
» No Scrubs
» CIVIL PROCEDURE - Motion To Dismiss
» Legal P.I.M.P
» Jewish Mother
» Undergrad vs. Law School
» Loss of Consortium Custom Edition
» Trespass To Chattels


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1) Click on any of the slogans below
to throw it on a T-shirt or mug
2) Buy it...IT IS SO ORDERED.
3) Still not convinced? Scroll down to the
very bottom of this page and check out some
celebrity endorsements and testimonials

No, for real, I've got loans to pay back and beer to buy and working for the District
Attorney's Office may seem cool on Law & Order but they don't pay well...
plus my baby's momma is complaining about child support, AGAIN.

If you have questions, comments, ideas for new products (I will give you a freebie,
requires minimum purchase of one T-shirt, e-mail for details), would like me to custom
produce T-shirts for you or your organization, wish to place a discount order in bulk,
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All items are copyrighted (C) 2005 and Trademarked to Mike Lambert, all rights reserved...
don't make me take my Juris Doctor out for a test drive by suing your ass



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If you go to Cafepress.com's affilliate page, sign up as an affilliate, and put a
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on all products sold as a result of your link. $$$ BLING BLING BLING $$$

I Own Blackacre

I Own Blackacre
I Own Blackacre. Law students everywhere have been haunted by the question "Who ownes Blackacre?" Let everyone know that O conveyed Blackacre to you.

Law School Drinking Journal

Law School Drinking Journal
"May it please the quart." So you didn't make law review... at least now you'll have more time to drink.

Fee Simple Absolute

Fee Simple Absolute
Fee Simple Absolute...the only brand free from restrictions as to use and alienability. WARNING: Please drink in moderation. Excessive consumption may result in violent ejectment.

Almost a Lawyer

Almost a Lawyer
Well, I mean we're not quite lawyers yet, so we still have some integrity and honesty :)

CIVIL PROCEDURE - FRCP 12(b)(6)

CIVIL PROCEDURE - FRCP 12(b)(6)
CIVIL PROCEDURE - Don't Make Me FRCP 12 (b)(6) You! It's every attorney's favorite motion...well, as long as you're representing the defendant.

CONTRACT LAW - Carbolic Smokeball

CONTRACT LAW - Carbolic Smokeball
CONTRACT LAW - Ms. Carlill used her Carbolic Smoke Ball and got herself 100 pounds sterling for breach of contract...all you got is this shirt to show your love of contract law

CONTRACT LAW - Estopp

CONTRACT LAW - Estopp
CONTRACT LAW - Any good contract attorney will tell you not to make promises you can't keep. Estopp your fellow law students and show off your love of contracts with this stylish jersey.

CONTRACT LAW - You Down With The UCC?

CONTRACT LAW - You Down With The UCC?
CONTRACT LAW - You Down With The UCC? Yeah You Know Me. BLING BLING, Who doesn't love the Uniform Commercial Code?

PROPERTY LAW - Adverse Possession Female

PROPERTY LAW - Adverse Possession Female
PROPERTY LAW – I adversely possessed your boyfriend last night. Don’t hate the player, hate the game! Ladies, let everyone know you’re a lawyer and a player.

Adverse Possession Male

Adverse Possession Male
I adversely possessed your girlfriend last night. Don’t hate the player, hate the game! Guys,let everyone know you’re a lawyer and a player.

Skilled Oralist

Skilled Oralist
We all know you have mad oral skills...I love double entendre.

TORT LAW - Got Res Ipsa?

TORT LAW - Got Res Ipsa?
TORT LAW - Got Res Ipsa? Res Ipsa Loquitor, a tort lawyer's best friend. Any Lawyer who can't make a Prima Facie case out of this mess isn't worth their Juris Doctor.

You Got Served!

You Got Served!
You got Served! Service of process, the legal notification that you're about to become entangled in an incredibly expensive endevour. OH IT'S ON!!

Easement On Your Mom

Easement On Your Mom
Constant use for the entire 10 year period of the statute of limitations? OH SNAP!! That’s a lot of use…

Terry Frisk

Terry Frisk
The "Terry Frisk", helping to keep police officers safe (or harras minorities depending on your perspective) since 1968

Prosecutor

Prosecutor
The life of a criminal prosecutor...no, it's not like you see on Law and Order.

Lawyer's Briefs

Lawyer's Briefs
Lawyers live by our briefs. Of course, it's what's inside the briefs that count.

Joint and Several Liability

Joint and Several Liability
Puff puff give... pass the joint and several liability.

TORT LAW - Loss of Consortium

TORT LAW - Loss of Consortium
TORT LAW – My Law School Caused Me Loss Of Consortium. Ahh Law School, where social lives go to die…it’s like the equivalent of Florida for old people

Boston Sucks

Boston Sucks
Summary Judgement has been granted and it's official now. No reasonable fact finder could conclude Boston does not suck. Therefore Boston sucks as a matter of law.

Billable Hours Male

Billable Hours Male
"I Love A Woman With High Billable Hours."
Billable hours, it's our bread and butter. Men, let the ladies know that they'll have to be putting in overtime to get with you.

Billable Hours Female

Billable Hours Female
"I Love A Man With High Billable Hours."
Billable hours, it's our bread and butter. Ladies, let the men know that they'll have to be putting in overtime to get with you.

Hugo Black

Hugo Black
You know what they say, once Hugo Black, you never go back. This is one justice that was definitely packing under the robes!

Negligence Per Se

Negligence Per Se
No excuses gentlemen, you're a professional now; this isn't undergrad. The whole "Yeah, that was nice...you should get going" thing just doesn't cut it anymore.

No Scrubs

No Scrubs
All the women who independent, throw your hands up at me! All them honies, who making money, throw your hands up at me! Ladies, let everyone know you don't want any low billable hour scrubs.

CIVIL PROCEDURE - Motion To Dismiss

CIVIL PROCEDURE - Motion To Dismiss
CIVIL PROCEDURE - Not a fan of our president? Make a motion to dismiss! I would have made a John Kerry shirt too except he's now irrelevant.

Legal P.I.M.P

Legal P.I.M.P
The prestigious law firm of PIMPS Inc. was formed by Roger Pimpowitz, Arthur Cadillac, and Peter Cane in 1886, and has been making opposing counsel their bitch since.

Jewish Mother

Jewish Mother
Well, at least she'll stop asking about your career now. Don't expect her to stop wondering aloud "when are you going to get married already" though, OY VEY.

Undergrad vs. Law School

Undergrad vs. Law School
If you listen closely, you can hear a poli sci/history major complaining about how much "reading" they have to do...that's cute, really. That's checkers, this is chess.

Loss of Consortium Custom Edition

Trespass To Chattels

Trespass To Chattels
Hands off my chattels! Keep would-be trespassers away with this stylish t-shirt.
Law School Drinking Journal
Law School Drinking Journal
$17.99
I Own Blackacre Black T
I Own Blackacre Black T
$24.99
TORT LAW - Loss of Consortium Custom Edition
TORT LAW - Loss of Consortium Custom Edition
$22.99
Trespass To Chattels Messenger Bag
Trespass To Chattels Messenger Bag
$22.99
Trespass To Chattels Tote Bag
Trespass To Chattels Tote Bag
$16.99
Trespass To Chattels Journal
Trespass To Chattels Journal
$13.99
Tresspass to Chattels Button
Tresspass to Chattels Button
$3.73
Tresspass to Chattels button 10 pack
Tresspass to Chattels button 10 pack
$18.98
Fee Simple Teddy Bear
Fee Simple Teddy Bear
$16.99
Statute of Limitations Wall Clock
Statute of Limitations Wall Clock
$14.99
Blackacre Bumper Sticker
Blackacre Bumper Sticker
$6.49
Joint and Several Liability Poster
Joint and Several Liability Poster
$17.99
Res Ipsa Poster
Res Ipsa Poster
$17.99
Juris Doctor Golf Shirt
Juris Doctor Golf Shirt
$23.99
Estopp Magnet 10 Pack
Estopp Magnet 10 Pack
$18.98
Estopp Magnet
Estopp Magnet
$3.73
Blackacre Button 10 Pack
Blackacre Button 10 Pack
$18.98
Blackacre Button
Blackacre Button
$3.73


Support This Site

LEGAL NOTICE: The following "endorsements and testimonials" were not actually made by the persons attributed to and are just a joke...although Antonin Scalia probably is actually a closet homosexual. They reflect the satirical commentary of Mike Lambert only, and are in no way attributable to Cafepress Inc.

Celebrity Endorsements and Testimonials
"No reasonable person could conclude these shirts do anything but absolutely rock. These shirts therefore rock as a matter of law."
-- Chief Judge Judith S. Kaye, NY Court of Appeals
Some Playa Hater v. Law School Funny Stuff, Inc. 476 NY 485, 492, (2005)

"I wish my opinions were worded as cleverly as some of these shirts...hey, who put all this dirt on top of me?"
-- Benjamin Nathan Cardozo

"Buy one for yourself and all your homies...wait, this is off the record right? You can't quote me on that, I have to act white to uphold my conservative reputation"
-- Justice Clarence Thomas

"I love these T-shirts almost as much as I'd love to overturn Roe v. Wade"
-- Justice Samuel Alito

"I love these T-shirts...so long as they stay away from my ovaries. Bite me Alito."
-- Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg

"HELZ MOTHER FU*&%#! YEAH I LIKE THE SHIRTS! I can say whatever I want now that I'm leaving. It's so liberating!"
-- Former Justice Sandra Day O'Connor

"These T-shirts are awesome. Can we elect a democrat as president now so I can retire already? Serriously, I'm 127 years old and I got to see the White Sox win the world series, enough is enough"
-- Justice John Paul Stevens

"I dissent, these T-shirts do not rock. Also, I don't like gay people. I just felt like saying that." see Romer v. Evans, 517 U.S. 620
-- Justice Antonin Scalia

"Oh sweet Jeebus Scalia! Will you just come out of the damn closet already!
see Romer v. Evans, 517 U.S. 620
-- Justice Anthony Kennedy

"I do not believe it would be proper for a Justice to comment on the quality of these shirts. I must therefore remain neutral in this matter, and can neither comment in favor of them, or against them. I must now return to the planet Zebulon 5 in order to oil my mechanical joints...END TRANSMISSION.
-- Chief Justice John Roberts

"I quite enjoyed the shirts...does anybody even know I'm on this court? All the other justices have fan clubs. Nobody loves me."
-- Justice Stephen Breyer

"Huh? Wha? Hey, how did I wind up passed out in this bus terminal with a lump on my head wearing an 'I Own Blackacre' T-shirt?...Heh heh, hey, that's pretty funny. Ow, my head."
-- Justice David Souter


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