Orange Alerts - the very name feels like an anachronism, going back a couple of generations to the time when James T. Kirk was still captain of the Starship Enterprise, ordering yellow alerts and red alerts at the drop of a tricorder. Hey, but these are Irregular Times, and everything's that's old is being dusted off for re-consumption by the nostalgic, the old-fashioned, the gullible, and the afraid.
Let's not buck the trend, friends! Can't you see the kitsch potential for old Orange Alert materials a few years from now? Your kids will be asking, "Mommy, Daddy, did they really have orange alerts for the entire country?"
You'll smile at your mate, chuckle, and say, That's right kids! They even had us believing that there were terrorists in the shopping malls!
We don't want you to be the last one on the block to stock up on Orange Alert kitsch. That's why we're giving you a head start, while some people still take it seriously. Get your memorabilia, before it's a memory... and hey, with the way that Alberto Gonzales and the Protect America Act are resurrecting the Total Information Awareness project, the Code Orange Alert could be around longer than you think!