Welcome to HumorVolcano.com's Online Gift Shop

These custom designs are available on a wide variety of merchandise,
from coffee mugs, T-shirts, and sweatshirts, to buttons, tote bags, posters and much, much more.

Click on the designs below to shop.

Don't Screw Me Up No pressure, new parents, but your baby's entire future lies in your nurturing hands. This concerned child pleads, "Please Mom and Dad, Don't Screw Me Up!"	Attitude Problem Go ahead and admit it. You do have a bad attitude. Share your attitude problem with these sarcastic items. Originally designed with babies in mind.	God Bless Our Bombs Show your support for the military with this new "God Bless Our Bombs" merchandise.
2012 Graduation Aaahh spring, when the nation's seniors become graduates. Help them celebrate their scholastic achievement with these "I'm *expletive deleted* smart now! items.	Crisis Management Is everything a crisis at your workplace? And how often is it due to lousy, incompetent management? Vent your anger with this "It's only a crisis because management sucks" warning sign design.	Size Does Matter Gentlemen, you've fretted all your lives, and now the ladies admit that it's true — Size Does Matter. Perhaps, however, not as you thought.
Out For This? Baby This shocked, cynical, and disappointed baby is looking around thinking "I came out for this?"	My Wish Is Your Command Here's an amusing twist on an old saying: My wish is your command! Now snap to it and give me what I want.	Tequila Pancakes There are usually a few critical learning moments in one's life. Here's one directly from God. "Never, ever mix tequila and pancakes!"
I'll Drink to That! Any reason to imbibe in a little alcohol is good enough for us at HumorVolcano.com. Celebrate alongside us with this "I'll drink to that!" design. Cheers!	Baby Union By-Laws All babies are forced by contract to act as they do. It's right there in the Baby Union by-laws. Adorn your baby with this Baby Union design and amuse everyone nearby.	It's Payback Time You rolled your eyes when your parents said you were a monster when you were a kid. Now you have a kid yourself. Guess what? It's payback time!
Baby Performance Artist The perfect gift for new parents to remind them that their newborn baby isn't a screaming, pooping, barfing little monster, but rather a performance artist.	Test Tube Daddy Who's your daddy? Test tube babies sorta know, as illustrated in this amusing "Sperm in a test tube" design.	Bride of Frankenstein For her October 2010 "Gems of Wisdom (& Stuff)" column for HumorVolcano.com, The Dame C posed for this elegant Bride of Frankenstein portrait.
Spin Doctorate The hottest growing profession in the world is the Spin Doctorate, since so many celebrities, politicians, and sports stars keep doing stupid stuff. Become one today with this amusing design!	Cardio Time Everyone needs envigorating exercise, and that includes babies. How do little ones get theirs? By crying, screaming, and wailing. Although not always at a good time.	Master of Your Universe Every baby knows that the world revolves around them. Help them state the obvious with these amusing Master of Your Universe infant, toddler, and kids gifts.
Suffer For My Shins Running meets religion in this play on words,as anyone who's had shin splints can relate to. Garner come sympathy with this "Oh, how I've suffered for my shins!" design.	Use It Or Lose It Recent spoof medical research has clearly established a "Use it or lose it" connection with erectile dysfunction. Help spread this important men's sexual health message with this gift design.	Lackanookie Causes E.D. The latest spoof medical research has shown that E.D. (erectile dysfunction) is simply due to lackanookie. This Humor Volcano design proposes an easy fix.
Ban Toilet Paper Ultra-green environmentalists can get mighty huffy over killing innocent trees to make toilet paper. These "Ban toilet paper" items sum up their attitude nicely.	Renaissance Man OK, Mr. Refined Gentleman, go ahead and brag about how smart you are with our Renaissance Man merchandise.	Undiscovered Superstar Still waiting to become famous? Bring instant attention to your talents with our Undiscovered Superstar merchandise.
Living the American Dream - Alarm Is it cynical to believe that you can only enjoy the good life while you're dreaming? Share your angst with this Living the American Dream design.	Golf Is The Holy Grail Show the world exactly how you feel with this "Golf is the Holy Grail" design.	Holiday Cheer It's the holiday season and time for fun. Whether your holiday cheer is a wee nip or a bit of hanky-panky, share the idea with this entertaining design from Humor Volcano.
Coffee Bean Tragedy Imagine a tragedy of the utmost proportions--a coffee bean supertanker sinking! Show your concern with these amusing mugs and steins.	Key to Happiness The key to happiness has been found, and it's right here! Of course, the lock that key fits into is nowhere to be found. For cynics everywhere.	New Math? Kids are constantly exposed to gambling, expecially on the sports pages. Humor Volcano wonders if that's what new school math is all about in these bumper stickers?
Delaware Loves Joe Biden Vice-President Joe Biden's f-bomb heard round the world made his home state of Delaware mighty proud. So proud we offer our very own Joe f-bomb bumper sticker.	Just Two a Day To keep a male from straying, spoof scientific research has shown that the dick brain must be frequently reset to zero--readily accomplished by the big O. Help spread the word!	Humor Volcano Logo Strut your stuff in our exclusive Humor Volcano logo merchandise. Your purchase helps HumorVolcano.com continue spreading the insanity to the masses.