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» Vandelay Industries Central!
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      » Yada Yada Yada
      » I'm Dark and Disturbed!
      » George Isn't at Home!
      » Look to the Cookie!
      » You're Not Chinese!
      » I'm an Anti-Dentite!
      » The Summer of George!
      » Not That There's Anything Wrong With That!
      » He Took...It Out!
      » YOU'RE Schmoopie!
      » Step Off!
      » Soup's Not a Meal!
      » Hello, and Welcome!
      » Coffee's Not Coffee!
      » I've Been Blacklisted from Hop Sing's!
      » You're Killing Independent George!
      » Hello, Newman!
      » Maybe the Dingo Ate Your Baby!
      » I'm the Wiz!
      » Lupus? Is It Lupus?
      » I'll Put the Kibosh on Your Deal!
      » Hipster Doofus Gear!
      » The Kavorka!
      » Monk's Diner Gear!
      » Moland Springs!
      » Murphy and O'Brien!
      » Rochelle, Rochelle!
      » Make Us Laugh, Clown!
      » The Jerk Store Called!
      » Serenity Now!
      » Jiffy Park!
      » The Sea Was Angry That Day...
      » Quone Is A Word!
      » Because He's MY Butler!
      » The Whole System Is Breaking Down!
      » George Likes Spicy Chicken!
      » Pulp Can Move, Baby!
      » Top of the Muffin to You!
      » These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty!
      » I Think It Moved!
      » Eat More Beefareeno!
      » The Urban Sombrero!
      » The Ukraine Is Weak!
      » Who Told You to Put the Balm On?
      » Fight On, Little Jerry
      » Stuff Your Sorries in a Sack!
      » Here's to Feeling Good All the Time!
      » My Other Shirt's Puffy!
      » No Soup For You!
   » For Your Festivus Needs!
      » Festivus Cards
         » Festivus Cards for the Rest of Us Adults
      » The Steps of Festivus!
      » Give to the Human Fund!
      » Festivus Yes! Bagels No!
      » I'm Observing Festivus
      » Festivus Bumper Stickers!
      » It's a Festivus Miracle!
      » Baby's First Festivus
      » Santa Claus and Festivus
      » Got Festivus?
      » Let the Festivus "Feats of Strength" Begin!
      » I Heart Festivus
      » Festivus for the Rest of Us!
      » Make Festivus a National Holiday!
      » The War on Festivus
      » Yes, Virginia, There Is a Festivus
      » Festivus in Lights
      » Happy Festivus!
      » Real Men Celebrate Festivus
      » A Musical Festivus
      » All You Need Is Festivus
      » Festivus Isn't Over
      » Festivus for the Rest of Us
   » Vandelay Industries Souvenirs!
      » Vandelay Kids!
   » Visit Del Boca Vista!
      » Del Boca Vista Media!
» Classic Comics Characters!
   » Hogan's Alley Christmas cards!
   » Smokey Stover!
   » The Yellow Kid
      » Yellow Kid Stuff
   » Get Krazy!
   » Little Nemo
   » Happy Hooligan!
   » Jiggs
   » Buster Brown
   » Gertie the Dinosaur
   » For The Wee Ones
   » Cartoon Animals!
   » Hoganwear!
      » Hogan's Alley From Yesteryear!
» Art From Comics and Ads!
   » Comics Talk
   » Old Logos Get New Life!
      » This Pig Scoots!
   » OUCH!
      » "Out Cold!"
      » Injury to the Eye!
» Broads and Dames
   » Send Hot Christmas Wishes!
» Bums and Crooks!
   » Hungry and Horny!
   » Hobo HQ!
   » Thieves and Other Scoundrels!
» Leisure, Work and Play
   » The Rowland's Office Clubhouse Store
   » Sports and Fitness!
   » Be An Artist, Remain Poor!
   » Eating and drinking!
      » Sit Down and Eat!
      » Beer and Alcohol!
      » Coffee Madness!
   » (Good and Bad) Professions!
» In Questionable Taste
   » On The Rude Side!
      » Support ANAL
      » You Need A Kick in the Ass!
      » Crack Whores!
      » Fake Retro Ads!
         » Jiffy Condoms!
         » Dauntless Brand Crack!
            » Dauntless Brand Heroin!
         » Ladies Smoke Meth!
      » Choking Hazard!
      » Need Cash? Tough Luck!
      » Eat S#!T and Die!
      » Bitch On Board!
      » The Cock Rules!
         » It Crows For Thee!
         » Go Ahead and Touch!
         » See The City!
         » Don't Tease!
   » Addictions Are Fun!
      » Beer: Not Just For Breakfast!
   » From The Tijuana Bible
» America from Yesteryear!
   » None of the Above!
» Wall Art!
» Various and Sundry!
   » Marilyn Hagerty Fan Club!
   » Nostalgic Christmas Cards
   » You vs. Me
   » Go To Hell, Duke!
   » The Rural Juror Store!
   » Swarley World!
   » You've Been "pwned"
   » Cambodian Midget Fighting League!


Support This Site
For fans of a Show About Nothing, this shop will amuse and delight fellow fans and attract all the right kind of attention! Some of the items might be inscrutable to most people, but you'll know! And please don't forget to visit our Festivus shop, where you can purchase cards, shirts and more to celebrate the holiday For The Rest Of Us!

Yada Yada Yada

Yada Yada Yada
Do you ever want to skip over the best parts of a story? Then this is the line of merchandise for you! You look at some of this merchandise, decide you like it, yada yada yada, you're wearing it at ho

I'm Dark and Disturbed!

I'm Dark and Disturbed!
If you think that being dark and disturbed is attractive, this is the merchandise for you! Don't pretend to be well-adjusted when you're not!

George Isn't at Home!

George Isn't at Home!
Believe it or not, George isn't at home--and you won't believe it either, now that you can sport his outgoing message, sung to the tune of the "Greatest American Hero" theme song!

Look to the Cookie!

Look to the Cookie!
We all want to live in harmony, and the best model we can think of is the black-and-white cookie! You get some black and some white in each bite, creating perfect balance...look to the cookie!

You're Not Chinese!

You're Not Chinese!
Do you think some people are passing themselves off as Chinese? Call them out with this merchandise! Whether their name is Chang or Changstein, they're not getting away with it--acupuncture lesson or

I'm an Anti-Dentite!

I'm an Anti-Dentite!
Do you believe that dentists should have their own schools? Then you're an anti-dentite...a RABID anti-dentite! But don't be ashamed of your anti-dentite beliefs...express them with this merchandise!

The Summer of George!

The Summer of George!
We hereby proclaim this the Summer of George! And you can too!

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That!

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That!
If that's who you are, we're cool with that! With this merchandise, you can let others know that you don't think there's anything wrong with that, either!

He Took...It Out!

He Took...It Out!
When Elaine was explaining to Jerry that her date took "it" "out," she used this expression. Don't worry...only those in the know will knows what "it" is--and it all depends on what the meaning of "it

YOU'RE Schmoopie!

YOU'RE Schmoopie!
It was Jerry's nauseating way of expressing affection for his girlfriend...and now you can make others just as sick of it as everyone else was!

Step Off!

Step Off!
It was the harshest thing Tony could have said to George: Step off! Of course, allowing someone to fall down a cliff might make you want to tell someone to step off, too. If you feel the need to tell

Soup's Not a Meal!

Soup's Not a Meal!
If someone gives you a brand-new Armani suit, you'd better buy him a meal. And real REAL meal...not soup! Everyone knows soup's not a meal!

Hello, and Welcome!

Hello, and Welcome!
When Kramer got a phone number almost the same as Moviefone, hijinks ensued! Why don't you just tell people the movie you'd like to see?

Coffee's Not Coffee!

Coffee's Not Coffee!
Everyone knows that coffee's not coffee! Coffee is sex! Celebrate the moment when George was kicking himself for turning down some "coffee"!

I've Been Blacklisted from Hop Sing's!

I've Been Blacklisted from Hop Sing's!
It was the restaurant where blacklisted writers could get served....you don't want to get blacklisted from Hop Sing's! But if you do get blacklisted from Hop Sing's--through actions of your own or som

You're Killing Independent George!

You're Killing Independent George!
Are your worlds colliding? If Relationship George meets Independent George, Relationship George will KILL Independent George! Warn others of the dangers of your worlds colliding!

Hello, Newman!

Hello, Newman!
It's Jerry's timeless, and contemptuous, greeting! Just open the door and say it--you'll feel better!

Maybe the Dingo Ate Your Baby!

Maybe the Dingo Ate Your Baby!
"Maybe the dingo ate your baby!" It was Elaine's immortal taunt at a party, and now it can be yours as well, complete with a stylized dingo!

I'm the Wiz!

I'm the Wiz!
Nobody beats the Wiz--and that's a FACT! Elaine's boyfriend wasn't just a fact-checker for the New Yorker--he was the WIZ! Now you can celebrate the fact that NOBODY BEATS THE WIZ!

Lupus? Is It Lupus?

Lupus? Is It Lupus?
Whenever George thought he was getting sick, his fearful exclamation was "Lupus? Is it lupus?" Now you can wear his paranoid exclamation on a shirt!

I'll Put the Kibosh on Your Deal!

I'll Put the Kibosh on Your Deal!
Are you wanting to go all Crazy Joe Davola on someone's deal? Whether it's a pilot for NBC or another kind of deal, this is the merchandise for you--let them know that you've kiboshed before, and you'

Hipster Doofus Gear!

Hipster Doofus Gear!
Are you a hipster doofus? We all have one inside, somewhere, no matter how much you try to suppress it. Express your own hipster doofus with this merchandise!

The Kavorka!

The Kavorka!
Do you have the Kavorka...the lure of the animal? If so, it's only fair to warn others so they know what they're getting into!

Monk's Diner Gear!

Monk's Diner Gear!
Perhaps one of the most famous coffee shops in pop-cultural history, this elegant logo celebrate Monk's Cafe, where Jerry and the gang had endless conversations about nothing!

Moland Springs!

Moland Springs!
From the merger of Morgan and Poland Springs, this is the product with the name so bad that it almost singlehandedly scuttled the merger deal...and you can own the branded merchandise proudly! Be a pa

Murphy and O'Brien!

Murphy and O'Brien!
Be careful about using these identities...you never know if you're going to be mistaken for an infamous white supremacist!

Rochelle, Rochelle!

Rochelle, Rochelle!
It was all about one girl's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk, and it was perhaps the greatest movie never made...also a Broadway show! And now you can own souvenirs from it!

Make Us Laugh, Clown!

Make Us Laugh, Clown!
Crazy Joe dressed up as Pagliacci, the sad clown, but the guys who picked on him turned out to be the ones who were sad!

The Jerk Store Called!

The Jerk Store Called!
It's the greatest put-down of all time (at least in George's mind), and you can own it now! And don't forget--we also included the killer follow-up line, sure to twist the dagger into your intended ta

Serenity Now!

Serenity Now!
It's like Lloyd Braun said: "Serenity now, insanity later!" Truer words were never spoken, and you can celebrate that philosophy with this merchandise!

Jiffy Park!

Jiffy Park!
Jiffy Park had George's car working double duty! It's the parking lot that doubled as a whorehouse, and you can wear their branded merchandise!

The Sea Was Angry That Day...

The Sea Was Angry That Day...
Like an old man sending back soup in a deli! When George pretended to be a marine biologist, he didn't fool around! Neither will you in this merchandise!

Quone Is A Word!

Quone Is A Word!
"Quone" was Kramer's made-up Scrabble word..."When a patient gets difficult, you QUONE him!" If you don't believe us, check a medical dictionary! In any event, your vocabulary will amaze and impress o

Because He's MY Butler!

Because He's MY Butler!
You can't mess with my butler...because he's MY butler!

The Whole System Is Breaking Down!

The Whole System Is Breaking Down!
When the Bizarro Jerry and his gang were rocking Jerry's world, his exclamation was, "The whole system is breaking down!" Now you can sport this slogan!

George Likes Spicy Chicken!

George Likes Spicy Chicken!
Even if it made him sweat, George liked spicy chicken!

Pulp Can Move, Baby!

Pulp Can Move, Baby!
When Jerry squirted pulp in George's eye and set him to winking uncontrollably, all sorts of mixed messages were sent! Tell others about the traveling properties of pulp!

Top of the Muffin to You!

Top of the Muffin to You!
The top of the muffin is the best part--but don't forget the exclamation point!!!!!!

These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty!

These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty!
It was Kramer's line in the Woody Allen movie--but tragically, he never got to say it! Nevertheless, it's one of the most-quoted lines from "Seinfeld," and you can show it proudly!

I Think It Moved!

I Think It Moved!
Do you know the difference between a "shift" and a "move"? If you're not sure, maybe this is the stuff for you!

Eat More Beefareeno!

Eat More Beefareeno!
Sure, you might not want to feed it to horses, but Beefareeno is a delicious macaroni product, especially when purchased in gigantic cans!

The Urban Sombrero!

The Urban Sombrero!
It's the fashion craze that's sweeping the nation: the Urban Sombrero! Be on the cutting edge of urban fashion by promoting this fashion-forward headwear!

The Ukraine Is Weak!

The Ukraine Is Weak!
"The Ukraine is weak...it's feeble...I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine!" When you're on the verge of global domination, you don't mess around!

Who Told You to Put the Balm On?

Who Told You to Put the Balm On?
"Who told you to put the balm on?" It's a question we all must confront at some point...and now you can express it humorously with this design!

Fight On, Little Jerry

Fight On, Little Jerry
Little Jerry wasn't a quitter, and you can celebrate his fighting spirit with this eye-catching design!

Stuff Your Sorries in a Sack!

Stuff Your Sorries in a Sack!
Was "stuff fyour sorries in a sack" a brilliant retort? Or did it make no sense? Regardless, here's your chance to show it to the world!

Here's to Feeling Good All the Time!

Here's to Feeling Good All the Time!
Who doesn't want to suck down a frosty mug of beer while having a smoke at the same time? Here's to feeling good all the time!

My Other Shirt's Puffy!

My Other Shirt's Puffy!
Even if you're not dressed like a pirate, you can let others know that your OTHER shirt is a puffy shirt! No wardrobe is complete without a puffy shirt, after all!

No Soup For You!

No Soup For You!
When you're getting soup from the world-famous Soup Nazi, you'd better play by his rules, or be banned!



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