Sometimes in life we sit around and we're just naked cuz there aren't any shirts around. And I guess I support that, because I like nudity, but we here at ForTees also like clothed peoples sometimes too.

Won't you come along and be clothed with us?*

Melon Baller Who knew those crazy vegans were really on to something? Fruit is awesome! And somewhat gritty.	Monkey Shines Monkeys are awfully fond of touching themselves and why not? They can get away with it in public while the rest of us are told to stop makign a scene before we get arrested again.	Whiskey to Success Don't listen to quacks like Dr. Phil or Dr. Spock or Dr. Ruth. What they don't know about babies could fill Liza Minelli's fridge.	All Llamas all the time Hey. Hey Buddy. Psst! Have a Look at my Llama.	Tail Wagon The Amish are clearly the pimpinest peoples alive, next to the Swiss. Celebrate them and their stone aged ways.
Das Booty That Klaus is one bad mofo. You know I ain't just tellin stories...crazy ass European.	Adjectified Craptacular: Of the nature of crap; impressively or sensationally crappy.	I'm in the Band Being in a band guarantees you action. That action might just be you and your buddies playing an electric organ in Grandma's basement though.	Fortee's Tavern Drinking is damn near an institution. Not the drinking that ruins lives and whatnot, there's not much comedy there. But drunken shenanigans rock.	Ice Cream and Grunt You squirt it out of a cow, mix with sugar and some stabilizers, flavor it and freeze it. Yeah, I'd lick it.
Llamazing! So I like llamas, big deal, you wanna fight about it? Our first ever front/back design! Ooh!	Well Preserved Innuendo can really be your friend sometimes. For instance, pickled can be a euphemism for being drunk, but a little creative thinking and it can totally mean something else. That you love pickles.	My Baby Daddy Finally, a shirt that says you're a member of the less than exclusive club of people who boned my mom.	Nutty Buddy I dunno about you folks, but I'm kinda proud of my nut. I show that little bastard off whenever I get a chance.	Lollipoppin' The ability to suck is an important facet of human existence. Without it, straws the world over would be rendered useless.
Old Timey Fun Old timey bicycles were probably the greatest invention man ever made. Why they went out of fashion, I'll never know.	Sweeeet Cream filled goodies are what seperate us from the beasts. That and our penchant for producing porno. I'll tell ya, zebras rarely make porno.	The Prick Poking isn't nearly as rude as it sounds. It's good enough for that little Pillsbury bastard, after all.	Keepin' the Dr. Away An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but that's not true of everything. For instance, daily shots of Lysol or repeated ice picks to the kidneys will send you right to the hospital.	Down on the Farm It's not the HillBilly Olympic event we thought it was. Recent research by a university has exposed the truth. Cow tipping is just a damn lie.
Plink Land The coolest game on the oldest show ever.	All Work & No Play Sure it's tasteless, but it's also harmless, like grave robbing or flashing the elderly.	Cob Story Popcorn, corn on the cob, niblet corn. Is there anything corn can't do? Yes...it can't love you. Not like I do.	I Got a Package For Ya 90% of Fortees designers recall catching their mom with the mailman at least once. The other 10% caught her with 2 mailmen.	The Old Folks Home Tell Granny I said "Take it! Take it all!"
Show me Yours Remember show and tell? I don't, I get hit in the head a lot. But I like to think I am the show. And sometimes I get arrested for showing in public.	Mojo Dojo Fear the sexual ninja, for he or she is a master of the secret eastern arts of getting down and dirtay. Fear them... but also, try to hump them. They're good at that. Humping, I mean.	Crack House We all know at least one crack addict, time to celebrate our love for them and their habit with this hot, sexy shirt. It's 107% crackified!	The Unloneliest Number In honor of our 69th shirt design (which was 2 shirts ago) we've crafted this piece of history for all to enjoy. It's a joke that never dies and everyone thinks it's clever. Who am I to judge.	Tiny Car Clowns will say anything to go down on you and that's a fact. Dirty, greasy liars they are.
Yellow Drip Road Aside from prison sex, mustard pee is the worst thing I can think of. I'm not really very imaginative, though.	Breast or Thigh? More designs inside All good carnivores like meat every so often. Even some vegetarians do, I hear.	New Deli Everyone loves a little sammich action.	Bung Fu I swear on my honor this is about karate. And nothing else.	los pescados The fish taco, mystery of the Western World. I've never had one but I giggle like a school girl when I hear the name.
Lip$ n' a$$hole$ This is just good, sound advice. I mean, really. Out of a can? Come on.	Reckless Adandon It's society's ultimate taboo, next to talking in a movie theatre and necrophilia. Embrace it. Embrace the madness.	Big Me You know you're thinking it. Now make everyone else think it. At least everyone else who can read.	Eat it A nibble, a lick, even some gentle biting, these are the ways we can enjoy a good meal. Now you try. Watch those teeth, though.	Porky's Revenge You know what I hate? "Mike Hunt" shirts. Know why? That joke is older than I am. That shirt's not funny, kid. You take it off this instant. For Christ's sake, people.
Red Rose The perfect gift for your tea-loving granny or for weird Uncle Dave who likes to put his ball sack on your face.	Choreography not Required We've all had moments where a crowd gathers around, we're drunk and mostly naked, the change starts flying and all we wanna do is dance.	Edumacation Community College, it's like getting a super GED and paying for it. Don't get snotty with me, I went to one too. After University, but I still went there.	Over Achieving Face it, most of us will never be superstars like Brad Pitt or Gary Coleman. But we have our moments when we rise ever so slightly above the crowd. Enjoy it, you earned it.	What are you eating under there? Ah, the gitch. Funny little word with varied meanings ranging from the stupid to the downright offensive. Reminds me of me.
Phat Cash Don't be ashamed, we've all worked fast food or shovelled poo for like $4 an hour at some point in our lives. It builds character. And resentment towards authority.	Blossoming Ah, dirty pillows, the most obscure and uncomfortable euphemism for boobs there is. But really, who doesn't love them?	Relations More designs inside Ha ha, watch as this shirt ruins relationships near and far as couples turn on one another in a jealous frenzy. Or probably most likely not.	Bender Whether it be with alcohol, drugs or just wayward morality, how many of us don't enjoy some intentional pollution every now and then?	Squirt Regular happiness is for the birds. You and I want bladder exploding happiness, am I right?
The Bistro The meatball: small, round... meaty. So like us.	The Bald Eagle Who amongst us doesn't enjoy shaving thoroughly then taking a greased-up run down the street? Who?	Gutter Love Alternate design inside We've all seen them, pushing those carts, hunched over...showing that ass. Ooh yeah, bag lady. Work it....work it.	Hey Aqua Lung! Even the best of us get a little creaky at times. Good thing the world is just lousy with water to keep us all lubed up.	The Stacks Alternate design inside Not unlike nuns, librarians are secretive and flirty creatures who most likely hide a deep, sensual side. They do in adult movies, anyway.
Livin' on the Edge Some of us can't be described as hard asses, but some can. This shirt is for those people. People who get nude & stare bacon in the greasy eye as it splatters about in a haphazard manner.	Oral Hygiene Yeah, it's pretty horrible and wrong, but don't you at least appreciate the honesty?	Mmm, fiber ForTees is offering anotherpublic service here. Don't let people wonder where you stand in terms of morality. Let them know right off that you have little to none.	Animal House Sometimes you just gotta pet a piglet.	Party Party We've all been to parties before, some good, some bad. The only thing all the good ones are guaranteed to have in common, besides reckless sex with strangers, is festive party hats.
Straight to Hell II Alternate design insideAuto-Erotic asphyxiation is something for all to enjoy, not just the elderly. And damn them for thinking otherwise.	Kennel Klub We're not promoting animal abuse. In fact, we think pugs are hilarious mistakes of nature. We just also happen to think they remind us of footballs a little bit.	Dirty Secrets Enthusiasm is a good thing, it gets you motivated. Motivated to love porn and park around the corner from the porn store so if anyone drives by and sees your car they won't really know where you are.	Flight Deck Val Kilmer said this on TV, so it's not like I'm judging. Besides, the guy was in the shower all the time, and he never had a woman. Goose had a woman, why didn't Iceman? Expose the truth, kids	Game Time Bragging is perfectly ok within reason. And if there's a better reason to brag than being the champ of Kerplunk and rubbing it in the face of all those marble dropping losers, I ain't heard of it.
Straight to Hell It's probably wrong on a number of levels, but face it... lots of wrong things are pretty cool. Then afterwards they make you feel guilty while you're cleaning up, but that's cool too.	States of Being More designs inside Sometimes you're moist, sometimes you're sticky, sometimes you're free range. All that and more in this room. Or maybe not more ... whatever	The Candy Shop This shirt would be described as saucy by some weird, old pop-culture junkie of dubious sexuality. And in the spirit of that, I invite you to pick one up and tell people they're hot within minutes of	The Land of Oz Shirts that reference Australia usually reference cute little koalas or that Yahoo Serious character. Not so any more. We're on to their game. On it like stink on a monkey.	Pimp my Shirt Pimps are very popular these days, despite their illegal trade and generally ill reputation as men who exploit and abuse women. But hey, the kids love 'em.
Pirate Wee Nee! The hottest, sexiest, coolest weiner dog pirate merchandise within a 3 mile radius.	Lime Ho! Dare to look citrus in the eye!	The Pie Guy Passion for pie? The answer is yes, and here's the solution to your woes about how to express those deep, intense feelings for pie. No need to thank me, just buy a couple.	The Cookie Jar Behold, one and all. It's not dirty sex or hardcore porn, it's just cookies. Sweet, sweet cookies.	The Sinister Broom Closet Sometimes you just have to tell it like it is. It's not always roses and chocolates. Sometimes it's all about the evil.
House of Ill-Repute Hookers sell sex for money. I sell shirts for money. Buy my t shirt for money and support me and hookers.	Frank's House Frank's shirts are pretty much guarateed to be little cotton parties that you ensconce your boobs in. Drink beers to frank, for he shares his t shirts with you today.	Red Square Like Red Squares? As If You Don't.	Mmm, stool One of the truest statements about stool ever, yours for the taking.	The Back Door Nobody's perfect and sometimes one orifice gets mistaken for another. This shirt was inspired by that for all to enjoy.
Jr. Spaghetti Tank $16.99