False Heart

Disclaimer: I cannot promise to save you. I cannot lead you to believe that the products purchased from this marketplace will change your life or elevate your status in any way. I do not wish you to believe that the assortment of goods available for purchase will ward off or offer protection against zombies, ninjas or incorporeal beings. I cannot guarantee that items purchased from this page will enhance you personally or aide you in achieving fulfillment of any kind. Heeding these warnings my dear, God willing, I hope that they bring you good fortune and luck. Perhaps they will shield you from cold, or someone will admire your ensemble, you will "hit it off," and fall madly and passionately in love (and of course who would not love you? You with your refined tastes and innate sense of style!) saving you from a life of embitterment and loneliness. I love you.