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Our Sister Site: Evil Genius - Out of the Blue


evil genius, geeks, nerds, mad scientists, cthulhu, zombies, pirates, & more

Evil Genius Logo by evilgeniustees.com

Dieting, diets, losing weight, getting healthy, slimming down. We've all done it, it sucks but it's good for us, right? Funny t-shirts for dieters, especially low-carbers, Paleo, primal, caveman lifestyle folks, with weight loss tees for meat lovers and veggie fans, plus anyone devoted to java, joe, mocha, latte, espresso, machiato, cappucino, or coffee in any form!

Seen my wine funny

Seen my wine funny
Yes, yes, that's very interesting but have you seen my glass of wine anywhere? Perfect for the fan of vino at any party. Don't get in my way, I can't find my wine!

Cute mushroom love

Cute mushroom love
Cute kawaii manga mushroom is perfect not just for vegans, vegetarians, but paleos, primals,any fungus lovers! Veggies are good for us, we need to eat more of them! Mushroom love.

My food eats your food

My food eats your food
My food eats your food with a juicy meaty backdrop. Perfect for Paleo and primal people (ancestral, caveman, whatever) or anyonw for whom vegetarian or vegan eating is anathema.

Mac and cheese love

Mac and cheese love
Because everything is better with cheese! Designed this for my husband who LOVES macaroni and cheese. It is his ultimate comfort food and true love. Cute cartoon mac and cheese.

Vampire doughnut funny

Vampire doughnut funny
As a companion to our Zombie Cupcake we present Vampire Doughnut! Funny, silly, chocolatey goodness complete with fangs and bad attitude. Great for dieters, low carb, gluten free, etc.

Wife lifts heavier

Wife lifts heavier
Yeah, you read it right. My wife lifts heavier than you! Awesome fitness t-shirt for the gym. Great for crossfitters and those who believe that real women lift heavy!

Upside down help burpees

Upside down help burpees
Funny t-shirt for any Paleo or Primal folks, fitness freaks, hard workout fans, or gym rats. Upside down: If you can read this help me up. Gotta. Finish. Burpees.

Girlfriend lifts heavier

Girlfriend lifts heavier
Yeah, you read it right. My girlfriend lifts heavier than you! Awesome fitness t-shirt for the gym. Great for crossfitters and those who believe that real women lift heavy!

Foodie, food and drink lovers

Foodie, food and drink lovers
Foodie with a background of good, whole, healthy foods. Perfect gift for lovers of food and wine, anyone with an appreciation of good food, good wine, cooking, and eating.

Anti-vegetarian, meat eaters, funny

Anti-vegetarian, meat eaters, funny
Funny t-shirt for any Paleo, Primal, ancestral nutrition, or Low Carb lover: I love vegetarian food! Cows are vegetarian, right? With vintage cow. Great for anyone who loves meat!

Cereal. Killer. Gluten free, celiac

Cereal. Killer. Gluten free, celiac
Big red international NO symbol with a wheat head on it and the caption Cereal. Killer. Perfect gift for celiac sufferers, gluten free folks, Paleo, Primal, ancestral nutrition people.

I heart meat, steak, paleo, low carb

I heart meat, steak, paleo, low carb
Funny t-shirt for any low carber, Paleo, Primal, or realfood lover. I love meat with a juicy steak in place of the heart. Meat lovers, grill kings, dads and chefs will all like this design.

Real women lift heavy

Real women lift heavy
Lifting heavy does NOT make you into some muscle-bound freak of a chick. You need testosterone to make that bulk. Real women know this and lift heavy for maximum health benefit!

Crossfitter rest when dead

Crossfitter rest when dead
Crossfitter, I'll rest when I'm dead. Super Paleo, Primal, ancestral, evolutionary diet follower gift. Crossfitters love burpees and push themselves till they puke.

No such thing as too much cheese

No such thing as too much cheese
Simple fact for us cheese lovers: there is no such thing as too much cheese. We put cheese on our cheese. Great gift for any foodie, chef, or admirer of that delicious dairy product.

My feet go naked

My feet go naked
Great gift for any barefoot runner, hiker, or even minimalist footwear lover. My feet go naked. With healthy barefoot prints. Shoes are unnatural, go naked!

Bacon awareness ribbon

Bacon awareness ribbon
Everyone else has their causes, well here's yours (and mine!) Bacon! Bacon is not only awesome but it is NOT bad for you! Great for Paleo, Primal, or Low Carb folks.

I've got a MEAT tooth!

I've got a MEAT tooth!
Cool stylish retro type t-shirt with chicken and cow. I've got a MEAT tooth! Fun and funny t-shirt for Paleo, Primal, carnivore, low carb, folks or anyone who loves meat.

No grains, no kidding

No grains, no kidding
A great hardcore Paleo t-shirt! No grains, no legumes, no dairy, no kidding. Perfect for anyone who follows the strict Paleo diet / lifestyle.

Body by Paleo

Body by Paleo
If you're living the Paleolithic lifestyle, following the Paleo diet, into crossfit, lifting heavy, kettlebells, etc then this may be the tee for you! Body by Paleo.

Drink you under the table

Drink you under the table
Retro / vintage guy sips a cup of hot tea or coffee: I could drink you under the table! Funny t-shirt for any coffee fiend or tea drinker or caffeine addict.

Zombie cupcake

Zombie cupcake
I have NO idea what this design is about! It was suggested by my 8 year old son and I thought it too funny not to do. Zombie cupcake with rotting, greenish tinge and flies!

Zombie apocalypse, you first

Zombie apocalypse, you first
Come the Zombie Apocalypse, I'm eating YOU first! Funny zombie t-shirt for any fan of the walking dead, zombie films, horror movies. Even works as a warning to irritating people!

Eat real food distressed

Eat real food distressed
Distressed grunge text eat real food for our dark apparel. Perfect for locavores, raw foodies, Paleo, Primal, or anyone who believe is simple, real, whole foods, not processed crap.

Low carb, no diseases

Low carb, no diseases
Yes, I'm low carb. Diabetes, heart disease, and obesity are NOT on my bucket list! Great shirt for anyone doing Atkins, South Beach, or Zone, anyone Paleo or Primal.

Beef chart

Beef chart
Lovely, lovely meat, in this case beef - all the choice cuts marked. If you are Paleo, Primal, or Low Carb then you adore meat. Great funny gift for any carnivore or meat lover.

got meat?

got meat?
Funny parody t-shirt for carnivores, VLC, ZC, Paleo, Primal, and low carb people! Got meat? Meat is the food we evolved to eat. Show your pride at being a meat eater!

Twitter hashtag #primal

Twitter hashtag #primal
Even if you don't Tweet (and why don't you?!) you can still appreciate this Primal tee. Hashtags are how we Twitterers keep track of topics that interest us.

Grokette, paleo, primal

Grokette, paleo, primal
A lighter, more feminine design for us Girl Groks, we women who follow the Paleo or Primal lifestyle. Pretty homage to our gatherer role with dandelions.

Twitter hashtag #paleo

Twitter hashtag #paleo
Even if you don't Tweet (and why don't you?!) you can still appreciate this Paleo tee. Hashtags are how we Twitterers keep track of topics that interest us.

Am the Anti-Vegan

Am the Anti-Vegan
Are your Paleo? Primal? Low Carb? VLC? ZC? Then you might be the Anti-Vegan. Funny paleo/primal t-shirt for anyone who hates carbs and sugar and loves meat: I am the Anti-Vegan.

Coffee makes it possible

Coffee makes it possible
With enough coffee almost anything is possible. Truer words were never spoken for anyon who loves java. Great gift for any fan of joe or caffeine head.

Barefoot runner evolutionary fitness

Barefoot runner evolutionary fitness
Barefoot runner in grunge text. Great for anyone into ancestral evolutionary fitness. Over millions of years we evolved the perfect thing to transport us: the bare human foot.

Locavore organic earthy

Locavore organic earthy
Buying your food locally makes you a locavore. Perfect for a supporter of your local small farmer. Sustainable, organic, local farms! Gorgeous, earthy graphic art vector design.

Twitter hashtag #lowcarb

Twitter hashtag #lowcarb
Even if you don't Tweet (and why don't you?!) you can still love your low carb diet, right? Hashtags are how we Twitterers keep track of topics that interest us and low carb ROCKS!

Meat in both hands balanced diet

Meat in both hands balanced diet
Classic icon with a chicken leg in one hand and a crispy strip of bacon in the other proclaims: a balanced diet is meat in both hands! Super for paleo, primal,or low carb dieters!

Twitter hashtag #bacon

Twitter hashtag #bacon
Even if you don't Tweet (and why don't you?!) you can still appreciate bacon, right? Hashtags are how we Twitterers keep track of topics that interest us, and #bacon really fascinates us!

Vegetarian vegan meat funny

Vegetarian vegan meat funny
Wait ... vegetarians and vegans are made of MEAT aren't they? Funny joke design sure to annoy your veggie friends. Perfect for any Paleo, primal, low carb, or carnivore! Fire up the grill!

Elemental bacon periodic table

Elemental bacon periodic table
Hilarious t-shirt for any meat lover or bacon fan - perfect for your paleo or primal friend: the element Bn (bacon) the most important on the periodic table!

Elemental coffee periodic table

Elemental coffee periodic table
Hilarious t-shirt for any java lover or coffee fan - perfect for your barista loving coffe house friend: the element Cf (coffee) the most important on the periodic table!

Elemental chocolate periodic table

Elemental chocolate periodic table
Hilarious t-shirt for any chocolate lover or cocoa fan - perfect for your chocolate addict friend: the element Ch (chocolate) the most important on the periodic table!

Just steak, meat lovers

Just steak, meat lovers
Just one big, juicy, thick, (pastured?) beef steak. Perfect for meat lovers, grillers, kings of the BBQ, Paleo folks, primal, ancestral nutrition, or low carb lovers.

Live primal, paleo lifestyle diet

Live primal, paleo lifestyle diet
Live primal in bold text with grunge accents. Words to live by. Anyone following the primal or paleo lifestyle and diet will appreciate this call to our ancestral, caveman roots.

Gluten free

Gluten free
International symbol for NO in bright red with a wheat ear. Gluten free! Perfect for celiacs, gluten intolerant folks, Paleo or primal people.

BCN auto decal bacon

BCN auto decal bacon
This spoof on the popular auto decals with abbreviations features one of the Evil Genius's favorite food: Bacon. BCN in a black oval on t-shirts and gifts, and , of course, a sticker for your car!

COF auto decal coffee

COF auto decal coffee
This spoof on the popular auto decals with abbreviations features one of the Evil Genius's favorite drinks: coffee. COF in a black oval on t-shirts and gifts, and , of course, a sticker for your car!

CHOC auto decal chocolate

CHOC auto decal chocolate
This spoof on the popular auto decals with abbreviations features one of the Evil Genius's favorite food: Chocolate. CHOC in a black oval on t-shirts and gifts, and , of course, a sticker for your car

Take off your shoes

Take off your shoes
Take off your shoes in gold with glorious bare footprints. Perfect gift for Paleo, Primal peeps barefoot runners or hikers. Our bare feet evolved to be the perfect form of human transport!

What would Grok do, color

What would Grok do, color
Who is Grok? Grok is our ancestral self, an avatar for the Paleolithic lifestyle. Does that mean all Paleos wear fur and never cut our toenails? No, he just represents our desire to eat like our ances

Paleo, healthy

Paleo, healthy
Perfect gift for anyone who has embraced a healthy, whole-food lifestyle. Great for paleolithic, primal, caveman, or low carb folks. Eat healthy, sleep well, move often. Words to live by!

Primal auto decal

Primal auto decal
Popular auto decal now available for telling the whole world about your fitness lifestyle! Primal diet / fitness / lifestyle design!

I am Grok

I am Grok
Grunge, textured like a caveman's wall, this t-shirt is perfect for Paleos. Anyone who follows the paleolithic lifestyle and diet knows who Grok is. Invite questions with this tee that supports Paleo!

Paleo auto decal

Paleo auto decal
Popular auto decal now available for telling the whole world about your fitness lifestyle! Paleolithic diet / fitness / lifestyle design!

Modern caveman, paleo

Modern caveman, paleo
Great gift for anyone following the paleolithic lifestyle or diet. Super for anyone trying to follow a more primal, ancestral, evolutionary path. Modern caveman.

WWGD? What would GROK do?

WWGD? What would GROK do?
Who is Grok? Grok is our ancestral self. Most people who follow the Paleo / primal lifestyle use him as a paleolithic everyman. WWGD? What would GROK do?

Modern cavewoman, paleo

Modern cavewoman, paleo
Companion to our Modern Caveman tee for the ladies who don't prefer the general word "caveMAN": Modern Cavewoman in a hip, distressed text. Great for the Paleo girl in your life.

Fat cells live forever

Fat cells live forever
Brain cells come and go but fat cells live FOREVER! Great motivation tool for dieters or just a funny foodie t-shirt. Perfect gift for anyone trying to lose weight, slimming, or on a diet.

Peace, love, meat

Peace, love, meat
Funny take on the popular peace, love design our artsy fartsy tee features that thing we love best here at Evil Genius Tees: MEAT! Sure to start a conversation it features a nice juicy steak, heart, a

Celery stalker, dieter/vegetarian

Celery stalker, dieter/vegetarian
Funny t-shirt perfect for anyone on a diet or vegetarians/vegans. Luscious bunch of celery stalks with Stalker in distressed grunge text. Get it? "Stalker"?

Yes, I run barefoot!

Yes, I run barefoot!
Perfect fitness gift t-shirt for anyone into minimal footwear! Our feet evolved over millions of years to carry us, pain free. We DON'T need shoes! Yes, even when running!

Whisky/Whiskey makes me frisky

Whisky/Whiskey makes me frisky
Retro vintage woman exclaims I get frisky when I drink whisky! Spelled both ways - whisky for Scottish and Canadian drinkers, and whiskey for Irish and American fans.

Hunter, meat-eater, carnivore

Hunter, meat-eater, carnivore
Just the word Hunter in grunge script with natural roots for an earthy, organic feel. Funny companion tee for our gatherer shirt especially for meat-eater/vegetarian couples!

Gatherer, scavenger, vegetarian, vegan

Gatherer, scavenger, vegetarian, vegan
Just the word Gatherer in grunge script with natural roots for an earthy, organic feel. Funny companion tee for our hunter shirt especially for meat-eater/vegetarian couples!

Hunter gatherer natural grunge

Hunter gatherer natural grunge
Our third in this series, if you feel you are both a hunter and a gatherer then this is for you! Great for paleolithic, primal, caveman, whole food lifestyle folks.

Peace. Love. Coffee.

Peace. Love. Coffee.
Our take on this popular design, peace sign, heart, and steaming cup of java on our peace, love, coffee t-shirts. Funny, artsy way to show your love of joe.

I DID come here to lose, diet

I DID come here to lose, diet
Funny, inspirational t-shirt for dieters everywhere! If you are losing weight, getting healthy, fighting disease, and living longer this is the tee for you. I DID come here to lose!

No coffee warning sign

No coffee warning sign
Funny t-shirt for coffee addicts and caffiene lovers. Yellow and black warning sign: Warning wearer has NOT had enough coffee! Great for wearing to the office on Fridays!

I eat meat

I eat meat
I eat meat! Perfect funny t-shirt gift for any carnivore or meat lover! Great for those on low carb, VLC, ZC, high protein, paleolithic, warrior, primal, etc, diets.

Seen my coffee?

Seen my coffee?
Yes, yes, I know your problem seems important, but have you seen my coffe?! If you are like me, you constantly lose your coffee cup during a busy morning. Funny gift for absentminded coffee lovers.

Exercise makes me spill my drink

Exercise makes me spill my drink
Cool vintage retro chick says: I would exercise, but it makes me spill my drink. Funny t-shirt gift for anyone on a diet.

Imitate human with coffee

Imitate human with coffee
May be able to imitate human today. Need more coffee to pull it off. Great funny coffee design for caffeine addicts and java lovers.

Cup of coffee with my name on it

Cup of coffee with my name on it
Gotta go, somewhere there's a cup of coffee with my name on it. Java lovers everywhere feel this strongly about their coffee.

We have bacon, low carb funny

More. Coffee. Now.

More. Coffee. Now.
Wired looking text in java bean brown, grunge splattered More. Coffee. Now. Funny coffe t-shirt for any caffeine addict or coffee lover.

Coffee voices in my head

Coffee voices in my head
Grunge, urban text reads the voices in my head said need more coffee in java bean brown. Great gift for the caffeine addict.

I start working when coffee does

I start working when coffee does
I start working when the coffee does in java bean browns. Great funny t-shirt for any caffeine lover

Need. More. Coffee.

Need. More. Coffee.
Need. more. Coffee. and frazzled caffeine lover. Cup of joe for the java head here!


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