Well hello and welcome to my 'FACE FULL OF FASHION' store!

Cover your chest, dirty lady hamper, moose hoof or fuzzy mimosa with the best Deven Green comedy parody sayings. Click on a saying and see what Deven has stitched together.

Email: neveded@yahoo.com to request more sayings.

All sayings are directly from: Deven Green's Comedy Parody Videos

NOTE: The store and T-shirt logos are indeed Deven Green's porn mouth.

Clothing Directions: Wear until soiled, moisten, blow dry, shake until gorgeous, buy new T-Shirt.

All images and ideas are copyright (c) 2009 by Deven Green TM All rights reserved. Under no circumstances may they be used without express written consent. Any unauthorized duplication or use is a violation of applicable copyright laws.

THE KALEIDOSCOPE PEOPLE WILL STEAL YOUR HEART I bet you didn't know this was how you spelled kaleidoscope. I double bet those shape shifters have stolen your heart several times. Come here and I will protect you.	I PRESUME YOU HAVE YOUR OWN THEME SONG You should have your own TV show so we presume that you have your own theme song which we hear every time you enter a room. Keep thinking you are TV ready...we'll keep laughing behind your back.	PIVOT-BALL-CHANGE! I'm your sister, PIVOT-BALL-CHANGE! Do it, dance it, make out with it, own it, work it, finger it, but don't mess it up. Seriously, it's only 3 steps.
TURN AROUND UNNATURALLY, AND DONE! YAY! Overact while you model please. Arch your back, flip your neck, smirk, glare but be more unnatural. Annnnddddddd DONE!	LOOK! MORE NASTIES FROM YOUR WARDROBE Three uglies nary an outfit make - what crap did you cover yourself with today? Oh right! More nasties from your wardrobe.	DON'T TALK I'M NOT LISTENING Unless you agree with everything I say or I hear a compliment then you remain Helen Keller to me.
THANK YOUR BREASTS...THEN YOUR DADDY Your chest camel toe got you some work and some play. Now go thank the man who bought them for you.	I'M A SAUCY BOOZEHOUND You are saucy, nasty and ready for more booze. Show this to any bartender for a free refill. That attitude of yours is useless if you don't put out. Prepare for your walk of shame...it's worth it.	THERE'S MY FACE! A FACE FULL OF FASHION! So many people want your face full of fashion. You give good face and your face is part of your head so you give good...
I HAVE PORN MOUTH Let the world know...God knows I do. Point of Interest: Porn mouth compliments your shit eating grin.	YES YOU CAN'T HAVE ME Do you put out or not? Open wide and keep them guessing.	I NEED SOME TROUSER GRAVY Some pervs need more gravy than others. So keep telling your friends that you love man junk.
I HAVE A HUGE VAJEENE Is your vajeene so huge you had to underline it? It may also need some BOLDing.	* BANG BANG * Ass Talker? Yes? Bang Bang! Oh you banged me. Respond in kind.	I'M A PIRATE Of course you are. You are also too lazy to make a costume. All those men, so little booze.
* HOOT * Hey porn owl! We can never forget that Donna Mills decided not to use cucumber slices but the entire vegetable. For buying this t-shirt I give you a 9, what ever comes after 10 and a cocoa finger.	I'M GOING TO JUDGE YOU Only shallow people don't judge by looks. Start your new one-night relationship with a touch of honesty up front. Your instincts are correct...they are guilty!	WELL HELLO... Welcome to your new t-shirt. When someone sees this for the first time they will say it OUT LOUD "Well Hello..." You got yourself a new friend who can read thish wordsh.
MY LADY HAMPER IS DIRTY Dirty? It's FILTHY. Who knows what is going on down there in your cavernous fist box. Take your mess to the dry cleaners. At least you are honest (you have 11 more steps to go).	I READ PORN TO THE BLIND Bet you are great with invalids or the homeless. We are all here to learn...just not from you.	I'M 100% 50/50 Who failed math? You did! You also can't make up your mind...but we already knew that about you. Try saying YES.
WHOOSH...SEAGULLS This is the sound of a) air escaping b) reaction to a girl smell or c) combination of both. Nature note: seagulls follow the smell of used fish.	ARE YOU DOUCHE BAGS TALKING ABOUT HOW GREAT I AM? Don't even be seen talking to douche bags! Get some new friends and a fistful of integrity.	KUDOS ME! Show everyone how great you are and how thankful you are for YOU! Who gets the praise for anything? YOU! Who takes credit when it lay elsewhere? YOU! The world does revolve around you.
THAT WAS ACTING. THANK YOU. Let us know you were faking it, then take a bow.	LOOK AT ALL THE GOOD I DO... Don't they realize your greatness? Tell them you just opened a brothel in Africa like Ofrah Whinney.	F.U. F.Y.I. What is thish wordsh? Thank God we can all read individual letters. Letters that indicate the following: Fuck You - You aren't tapping any of THIS (point to your freeway whiskers) tonight.
I GAVE MYSELF A CAMEL TOE! You are very talented to give yourself a camel toe and not the Dorothy Hamill kind.	AS LONG AS I DON'T BLEED OR CRY, I'LL DO IT What an offer! Perfect to wear when you hire your local dominatrix.	WHAT THE HELL IS THISH WORDSH? Why would you have learned to read? Unfortunately your friends need the Rosetta stone to decipher the crap that comes out of your mouth. It's like fucking a moron.
I NEVER MET A ZIPPER THAT DIDN'T NEED A GOOD TUG Official tester of the YKK. Pull down zipper, examine contents and be glad that relief is just a swallow away.	YOU CAN MAKE THE WORDS AS BIG AS YOU WANT, I STILL Maybe you need a personal tutor to get an A because you don't want to be F'd do you?	MY SHIRT JUST THREW UP ON MY HEAD If you need this T-shirt you may also need a turban or some bon mots or some bunny buttons. Ugly articles of clothing shouldn't match they should just GO.
WHEN YOU EAT YOU'RE JUST A VACUUM WITH NIPPLES You inhale your food so hard I wonder if you need teeth anymore? Your suction is commendable. No wonder why your nipples are hard.	NICE GOING JUNKIES HERE'S YOUR YUM YUMS Give treats to those beneath you, then walk over them as you claw and scratch your way to the top.	I WAS BORN WITH PUBIC HAIR! Your hormones were raging from an early age yet you have a sluggish libido now - odd. All that hair can only mean that I love bears.
I NEVER MET A CARROT I DIDN'T LIKE...EXCEPT THIS O Carrots are the bitches of the root world and vegetable platters. If I don't like you then something is wrong with YOU.	YOU CAN'T REMEMBER A THING WHEN YOU HAVE SYPHILIS I forgot what to write...uh oh. Syphilis does not prevent you from sleeping with more than one person at once.	MEOW, MEOW I JUST BURPED UP LUNCH. Nooners are for hookers and puss eaters. We all know WHAT you ate for lunch...the question is WHO.
THIS MEANS WHORE You mean whore - you are a whore - you are with a whore - you are whore-esque!	I EAT SO MUCH FOWL I SHIT FEATHERS Clean your colon and get down to your birth weight with these garments. Good for farmers with scatological predilections. Wear to your next ho-down.