Welcome...to my 'FACE FULL OF FASHION' store!
Cover your chest, dirty lady hamper, moose hoof or fuzzy mimosa with the best Deven Green parody sayings. Click on a saying and see what Deven has stitched together. IF YOU EMAIL ME A PHOTO WITH YOU WEARING ONE OF THESE T-SHIRTS I WILL OFFER YOU A SPECIAL TREAT!
Email: neveded@yahoo.com to request more sayings.
NOTE: The store and T-shirt logos are indeed Deven Green's porn mouth.
Clothing Directions: Wear until soiled, moisten, blow dry, shake until gorgeous, buy new T-Shirt.
All images and ideas are copyright (c) 2008 by Deven Green. All rights reserved. Under no circumstances may they be used without express written consent. Any unauthorized duplication or use is a violation of applicable copyright laws.
I HAVE A HUGE VAJEENE Is your vajeene so huge you had to underline it? It's reassuring to know what actually fits inside. |
I'M GOING TO JUDGE YOU Only shallow people don't judge by looks. Start your new one-night relationship with a touch of honesty up front. Your instincts are correct...they are guilty! |
WELL HELLO... Welcome to your new t-shirt. When someone sees this for the first time they will say it OUT LOUD "Well Hello..." You got yourself a new friend who can read thish wordsh. |
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THERE'S MY FACE! A FACE FULL OF FASHION! So many people want your face full of fashion. You give good face and your face is part of your head so you give good... |
* HOOT * Hey porn owl! We can never forget that Donna Mills decided not to use cucumber slices but the entire vegetable. For buying this t-shirt I give you a 9, what ever comes after 10 and a cocoa finger. |
I'M A SAUCY BOOZEHOUND You are saucy, nasty and ready for more booze. Show this to any bartender for a free refill. That attitude of yours is useless if you don't put out. Prepare for your walk of shame...it's worth it. |
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SHOW ME THE SPAM JAVELIN This should be a new Olympic sport, but you could just shove it in and they'd be happy. Throw your meat and temper around. |
I'M A PIRATE Of course you are. You are also too lazy to make a costume. All those men, so little booze. |
MY LADY HAMPER IS DIRTY Dirty? It's FILTHY. Who knows what is going on down there in your cavernous fist box. Take your mess to the dry cleaners. At least you are honest (you have 11 more steps to go). |
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I READ PORN TO THE BLIND Bet you are great with invalids or the homeless. We are all here to learn...just not from you. |
I HAVE PORN MOUTH Let the world know...God know's I do. Point of Interest: Porn mouth compliments your shit eating grin. |
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I'M 100% 50/50 Who failed math? You did! You also can't make up your mind...but we already knew that about you. Try saying YES. |
ARE YOU DOUCHE BAGS TALKING ABOUT HOW GREAT I AM? How great are you? Why are you talking to douche bags? Get some new friends. |
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I NEED SOME TROUSER GRAVY Some need more gravy than others. So keep telling your friends that you love man junk. |
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LOOK AT ALL THE GOOD I DO...NOW GET THE HELL OUT O Don't they realize your greatness? Tell them of your superiority then get rid of them...you have enough friends already. |
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F.U. F.Y.I. What is thish wordsh? Thank God we can all read individual letters. Letters that indicate the following: Fuck You - You aren't tapping any of THIS (point to your freeway whiskers) tonight. |
AS LONG AS I DON'T BLEED OR CRY, I'LL DO IT What an offer! Perfect to wear when you hire your local dominatrix. |
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I NEVER MET A ZIPPER THAT DIDN'T NEED A GOOD TUG Official tester of the YKK. Pull down, examine and know that relief is just a swallow away. |
YOU CAN MAKE THE WORDS AS BIG AS YOU WANT, I STILL Maybe you need a personal tutor to get an A because you don't want to be F'd do you? |
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MY SHIRT JUST THREW UP ON MY HEAD Hope you have a hat that matches your shirt. Vertical vomiting? Yes, it can happen. |
WHEN YOU EAT YOU'RE JUST A VACUUM WITH NIPPLES You have great suction and nipples no matter what you are eating. |
NICE GOING JUNKIES, HERE'S YOUR YUM YUMS Give treats to those beneath you, then help them to their feet. |
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I WAS BORN WITH PUBIC HAIR Well good for you...finally you have something important to say. I bet you are left-handed too, which makes you smarter than everyone else. |
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YOU CAN'T REMEMBER A THING WHEN YOU HAVE SYPHILIS I forgot what to write...uh oh. Syphilis does not prevent you from sleeping with more than one person at once. |
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MEOW, MEOW I JUST BURPED UP LUNCH. We all know what you ate for lunch...the question is WHO you ate. Be proud of what goes in your mouth and what you swallow. |
THIS MEANS WHORE So ambiguous! It could be used as a pronoun, an adjective, in the plural, a double verb, a commanding adverb or a hard noun. If you are lucky it may turn into a gerund. |
I EAT SO MUCH FOWL I SHIT FEATHERS Clean out your colon and get down to your birth weight. Good for farmers with scatalogical predilecations. Wear to your next ho-down. |
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MY BREASTS COME RIGHT OUT OF MY CLAVICLE You are a little two-legged cow. Your udders are high and chock full of steroids, lactate and/or silicone. It's perfect. You like to be touched and others like to feel. Make it happen. |
IT'S EUROPEAN If you wear a beret you must wear this t-shirt. It will also exonerate other poor fashion choices such as acid-wash jeans, front pleats, anything with fringe, clothes from 10 years ago and bloomers. H |
PERSONALIZED ITEMS Oh you want your name on a T-Shirt or Mug? Well I would love to do it for you...when I feel like it. |
