Cynical Senior

Welcome!
The place on the web for funny cynical senior t-shirts and gifts. I hope you enjoy these twisted original designs, many will not. Click on design to view various amusing products, T-shirts, hats, birthday cards and other lovely gifts. Stop back often--new designs added whimsically.

Telomere Size Matters
Telomere size really does matter but not many of us have a clue why. Great for the more educated on your list with some sense of humor.

Kegel
Kegelers, Get a grip that will make you scream.

My other ride
My other ride

Senior Pole Dance
Senior pole dancer is a lovely birthday sentiment that goes well on cards, t-shirts, thongs and yard signs.

I Bowl Alone
I Bowl Alone makes a real statement concerning your love of humanity. Ideal on shirts, hats, or gifts for that curmudgeon on the list.

Less hear more smell
The less I hear the more I smell(Andy). Hearing loss is a serious matter and it is not necessarily accompanied by increased sense of smell but often with personal hygiene problems.

Birthday cards and gifts
Click here to view a myriad of original and tasteless birthday cards and gifts from the disturbed minds at Cynical Senior.

Mortality sucks party
Mortaltiy Sucks

I May be Deaf
I may be deaf, but I smell like pee. Disgusting, but inevitable. An ideal funny gift for that boomer birthday boy.

Prostate Size Matters
Prostate "size matters"-times change-big is bad. Various degrees of tastelessness of prostate size matters designs on t-shirts, cards etc.

Underware Conundrum
Boxers, jockeys, panties, thong-depends. A perplexing conundrum that is eventually solved by incontinence. Ideal on shirts, caps and cards.

Do not go gentle
Do not go gentle into that good night-Dylan Thomas. The outlook is bleak, so go for it-you only live once. Great on party shirts, hats, cards etc.

misogynist
Misogynists need love, but they don't get it.

Twisted Christmas Cards
Twisted humor Christmas Cards for the cynical hard to please on the bottom of your list Christmas.

Incontinence
Incontinence

Incontinence Calendar
The incontinence calendar is a funny twisted gift for baby boomers or seniors for birthdays, retirement or Christmas. The humor may offend some--sorry!

Mortality Sucks
Mortality Sucks! Life's too short. This sentiment is perfect on shirts, cards and gifts.

Fear and loathing-medicare
Fear and Loathing on Medicare. Gonzo over-medication compliments of the Feds. Hilarious birthday gift ideas for the baby boomer with a twisted humor.

Cynical senior 2011 calendar
The 2011 Cynical Senior Calendar is a twisted funny gift for birthdays, holidays or retirement. May offend those lacking humor and incontinence.

Mortality Sucks
Mortality Sucks-enough said!

It's the Medication STUPID

Overactive Bladder

401k is Powerball
My 401k is now the Powerball

Your only as old as you smell-skunk
Your only as old as you smell. A touch of twisted humor-a unique birthday gift idea for that baby boomer with a personal hygiene problem.

Your only as old as your smell

Incontinence Sneeze
Incontinence is nothing to sneeze at

401k is Powerball
My 401k is Powerball. Not a pretty pciture.

Sunday dilemma
Watch golf, watch paint dry-the Sunday dillemma. Tough choices.

Cynical senior cemetery
Cynical senior lowers the bar for life's expectations. Tough love. Cemetaries are a nice place to visit but no one looks forward to moving in.

Summer of Love
Summer of Love, What a long strange trip it's been.

Cynicalsenior lower bar
Cynicalsenior.com, "lowering the bar for life's expectations." Amusing on T-shirts, hats or other lovely items.

cynicalsenior.com
The world famous cynicalsenior.com logo. Now this makes a class gift on t-shirts, bumper stickers, hats or card.

Lowering the bar for life's expectations
Cynicalsenior mission is lowering the bar on life's expectations.

cynical senior, global warming

Valentines Day
Happy Valentine's Day, but remember in a heartbeat, I will leave you twisting in the wind. A lovely sentiment that should keep the recipient on edge. At least someone is honest in this relationship.