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Why do men die before their wives?... They want to.
Aren't you the poster child for birth control?
Men are like vacations... They never seem to last long enough.
Haven't I seen you somewhere before? Yes, That's why I dont go there anymore
Confucius Says: Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't matter.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
Men are like chocolate bars... Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.