Posters : Bound & Gags

Posters

It looks like the world famous 'Idiotic Table Of Elements' and equally sought after '100 Surefire Ways To Bet Stress' are the first entries into the Bound & Gags poster section. In the coming months we hope to have posters from the world of Crazyfish and many things that will not only entertain and confound but make you wonder why we're still allowed to mingle within the general population.

As always, if you'd prefer a bit on a different shirt or even a different product click here to send us an email and we'll put that together just for you. How's that for customer service? Try getting attention like that from those stuck-up, high end poster stores. You'd be lucky if they'd acknowledge your presence much less guide you through the oft times daunting decision to find just the right poster to cover the hole you made in the wall with your head the other night when you were drunk.

Make sure to come back and visit the Poster section of the Bound & Gags Store because we'll be adding new product every month. To make sure you don't miss out on any new items look over to your left, type in your email address and join our mailing list. Don't be the last on your block to have your property speak for you!

For your reading pleasure before you purchase the poster to display with pride, here's the text of world famous Idiotic Table Of Elements:

1 H Hightrojan A condom used for bedroom volleyball	2 He Heelium Your girlfriend's last boyfriend	3 Li Lithium If you can read this chart, you're not on it!
4 Be Beerium Comes in a six packium	5 B Boronandon A professor that won't shut up	6 C Carbond Someone who waxes their car way too often
7 N Nitrogin 150 proof gin	8 O Oxy5gen Essential element before your dream date	9 F Floorine The most common sleeping arrangements after a kegger
10 Ne Kneeon The only way to get money out of your friends	11 Na Sodumiam Personal response to your failing grades	12 Mg Magnesium Effect of watching too many Clint Eastwood movies
13 Al Alumnium Graduates who tell stories about their "Good old days at U."	14 Si Silicon The most vital element of a wet T-shirt contest	15 P Flossforus Nagging note from your parents
16 S Selfur A date who can only talk about themselves	17 Cl Chlorine The drug of choice for swimmers	18 Ar Aregone The best way to describe your friends
19 K Potorassium 2 of the 3 elements needed to get you a ride	20 Ca Calculuscium Element necessary to understand higher math	21 Sc Scandium Checking the scene for babes
22 Ti Tightanium The essential element for window shattering farts	23 V Vannawhitedium A vacuous woman	24 Cr Cromagnium Inhabitants of the athletic dormitories
25 Mn Mangleknees Football scholarship students nightmare	26 Fe Iron What you will never do to your clothes	27 Co Coball The universal reverse of masturbation
28 Ni Nickel Community college version of ‘Quarters'	29 Cu Copher Stealing someone's girlfriend	30 Zn Zinc What dyslexic's think is next to the toilet
31 Ga Gagium What you do soon after eating in the cafeteria	32 Ge Germanium An uncontrollable urge to carry many beer steins	33 As Aresick The way you feel the day after a frat party
34 Se Selectium What the homecoming queen/king will never do to you	35 Br Blomine Why professors give some students good grades	36 Kr Crypton What you wake up with after a wild Halloween party
37 Rb Rubadubdubian What happens when you're in the shower	38 Sr Scrotuminium Place to store your family jewels	39 Y Shittrium A co-ed restroom
40 Zr Zirconium Ring you give a girl who wants a commitment before sex	41 Nb Lieobium What you do when there's no other alternative	42 Mo Mybrainisnum Result of your studying for a whole hour
43 Tc Techniqueium A tremendous lover	44 Ru Ruthlessium Someone who will say anything to get laid	45 Rh Roadium State of being after a 16 hour road trip
46 Pd Palpaidium When friend paid back the borrowed $10	47 Ag Silver What you'll need plenty of for your dream date	48 Cd CADium Person who needs Computer Aided Design to draw a straight line
49 In Endium What you wish this semester would do	50 Sn Tin A beer wrapper that's also worth cold cash	51 Sb Antimoney College students economic platform
52 Te Tellherium Plea from friends to tell the truth for once (aka Tellhimium)	53 I Iowedine Putting your meals on an ever expanding tab	54 Xe ZZZnon State of being during finals week
55 Cs Seizeium What happens to your brain after a week of Zzznon	56 Ba Barium Place to go to on Friday nights (aka Pubium)	57-71* Landhandies Someone in an altered state who stumbles but never falls
57 La Rathernum How you feel after a weekend of drinking	58 Ce Searium Result of taking the first bite of a quickly delivered pizza	59 Pr Praiseodieum Element you'll seldom receive
60 Nd Nudeium The perfect state of being	61 Pm Promisethium A promise you'll never keep (usually tendered during the heat of passion)	62 Sm Smartium The person who sits beside you in physics
63 Em Europium Place rich students spend their junior year	64 Gd Gabmillenium Length of time it takes your student advisor to tell you the bad news	65 Tb Disturbium The inevitable action the first time you try to study this month
66 Dy Dysproseium The problem your lit. professor says you suffer from	67 Ho Homeium A place to avoid (unless you need your laundry done)	68 Er Herbium Element responsible for less than exemplary grades
69 Tm Ruleium Ridiculous guidelines to follow (ex. going to class Monday mornings)	70 Yb Bitherbum Most rapid date ending method (in most cases)	71 Lu Lootium Result of a visit to an ATM
72 Hf Halfium Amount of time you actually pay attention	73 Ta Tantrumlium Your action soon after receiving your final grades	74 W Tonguestung The effect when your lover bites your tongue
75 Re Reignium The length of time that pompous jerk is president of the college	76 Os Ozmium Shaking and swearing after too many beers	77 Ir Irateum Direct response to your roommate drinking all your beers
78 Pt Platinum Friends with this plastic are great to have	79 Au Gold Friends with this plastic are good to have	80 Hg Mercury Method of travel if parents pay, hoofing if they don't
81 Tl Tailium What you are in constant search of	82 Pb Lead The weight at which your GPA drops	83 Bi Bymouth One of the best ways to get off
84 Po Polonium An overwhelming desire to call your friends Biff and Buffy	85 At Askateen Trolling the local high school for dates	86 Rn Radon What happens in a surfers wet suit when the ‘big one' hits
87 Fr Francium The element found in all rude waiters	88 Ra Raidium What happens when campus police show up	89-103** Actincoherent What to do when called on to answer a question in class
89 Ac Actium What to do when caught out after curfew	90 Th Thorium How you describe your physical state after a visit to the dentist	91 Pa Protectium The action preceding sex
92 U Youraimium What every guy should improve while using co-ed bathrooms	93 Np Neptunium Your brain on pot	94 Pu Plutonium Your brain on acid
95 Am Americium Place poor students spend their junior year	96 Cm Cureium The first place to visit when you get back from spring break	97 Bk Berkeleyum Where the really good drugs were invented
98 Cf Californium Like, we wrote this way cool joke, but it was, like, invading our space	99 Es Einstenium What can happen to your hair if you study too much	100 Fm Firmium An extremely hard body
101 Md Mendoleaveium Male response to a female seeking a commitment	102 No Nobelium Not taking advantage of a drunk girl	103 Lw Lawrenceium The prime ass kisser on campus

And now the text for 100 Sure-First Ways To Beat Stress:

1. Take public transportation and at each stop call out, "Are we there yet?"	2. Read and discuss the back of a cereal box.	3. Debate the true meaning of belly button lint.
4. Hang glide naked while eating a bowl of pudding.	5. Walk up to a total stranger and ask them why they weren't at the meeting last night.	6. During a lull in conversation stand up and scream "Stop staring at me!"
7. Go to a restaurant and ask for some extra parsley.	8. Call up a friend and ask them if they want paper or plastic.	9. Go to the movies and ask a perfectly quiet person to shut up.
10. Shout "Bingo!" whenever you hear a B-52's song.	11. Start a conversation with someone wearing headphones.	12. When someone answers your question with "Huh?" answer "Thousand Island or vinaigrette."
13. Keep your fly unzipped and when someone tells you say, "I know."	14. Call up a friend and ask if they know why you called.	15. Ask a waitperson what's good and, when told, make retching sounds.
16. Walk up to an adult with a tissue, put it to their nose and say "Blow."	17. Answer a pay phone with "Deposit twenty-five cents for the next three minutes."	18. Go to a baseball game and scream, "Swing batter." during the entire game.
19. Walk up to a total stranger and ask "Does this look infected to you?"	20. Ask your best friend to let you borrow some underwear.	21. Pick out your new office wardrobe at the golf pro shop.
22. Contemplate how different your life would be if you were a Flintstone.	23. Call up a truck rental place and tell them your life story.	24. Get in a long line and face the opposite way.
25. Tell all your friends that you can understand what dogs are saying.	26. Try to elevate objects with your mind.	27. Give foreign currency to a homeless person.
28. Ask if you can be put back on hold because you love the song that was playing.	29. Start a heartwarming conversation with the person at the urinal next to you.	30. Bring a vegetarian to lunch and eat a slab of raw meat.
31. Ask for directions and then head in the opposite direction.	32. When someone says something obvious slap your forehead and say "Why didn't I know that?"	33. Call a sperm bank and ask how you can open an account.
34. Ask someone to borrow $1000 to go to a grand opening.	35. Ask a grocer for the prune juice to toilet paper conversion chart.	36. Actually skip to the loo.
37. During a job interview sit up and scream, "Nap Time!"	38. Get on an elevator and sing along with the muzak.	39. Tell everyone that you could have been rich if you'd have had parents with more money.
40. Get extremely dressed for a date and go to a fast food drive-thru.	41. Invite all your friends over for homemade croutons.	42. Wear a cape with your initials on it all day.
43. Ask a stranger to get the change out of your pocket.	44. Set up a heavy petting zoo.	45. Turn down the volume on a family video and make animal noises.
46. Go to a gas station rest room then tell the attendant that the ambiance was "Magnificent."	47. Tell your friends that you're in training for the professional Karaoke tour.	48. When told to "Sit anywhere." at a restaurant sit behind the cash register.
49. Tell everyone its your birthday just to make them feel stupid for forgetting.	50. Have a conversation with a store clerk in baby talk.	51. Walk around with an empty goldfish bowl calling out, "Here fishy, fishy."
52. Every time someone walks out of a room scream, "Elvis has left the building."	53. Dot your I's with little snarly faces.	54. Rent a limousine and keep it parked in your driveway all night.
55. Grow a garden of vegetables that you're allergic to.	56. Wear something that you know is ugly and ask everyone you meet if they like it.	57. Proudly exclaim that you are a homo sapien.
58. Go see a movie with sub-titles and read out loud.	59. Have a party in your pants with cheese-whiz.	60. Go to a fast food restaurant and ask for one of the paper hats.
61. Point at passing cars with a worried expression on your face.	62. Go to a retirement home and see how many people know all the words to ‘Wooly Bully.'	63. Spend a day giving pet names to your bodily functions.
64. Call PBS during Pledge Week and pledge your undying loyalty.	65. Go to a library and read over someone's shoulder.	66. Ask a real short person if they play basketball.
67. Jot down the graffiti from a public rest room.	68. Sneak up on a total stranger, touch their shoulder, say "Tag, you're it." and run away.	69. Excuse yourself to make a phone call and then don't leave.
70. Spend ten minutes raving about the fragrant bouquet of a glass of tap water.	71. Tell people how old you are in dog years.	72. Drive around a rotary until a passenger pukes.
73. Open a beer and say, "You know, it really doesn't get any better than this."	74. Put $10.00 in a jukebox and play the same song.	75. Send a chain letter using real chains.
76. Go up to a stranger in a club and say, "Excuse me, that's my drink."	77. Window shop at a lawyers office.	78. Heckle at a religious service.
79. Make a big deal about how fast your finger nails grow.	80. Brag about your collection of random thoughts.	81. Hum your favorite snack food commercial all day.
82. Fill a jar with marbles, put it on your desk with a sign that reads, "My marbles aren't lost. They're just not of much use."	83. Start complaining because you've lost your virginity.	84. Invite all your friends to your house for a party and then don't show up.
85. Try to book a flight of fancy.	86. Bring your sick stuffed animal to the vet.	87. Take up a collection at work for a collection jar.
88. Go up to someone and say, "Stop me if you've heard this one." then recite the Gettysburg address.	89. Carry groceries with you on a Stairmaster.	90. Go to a hairdresser, ask who does their hair and then go to that person.
91. Tell everyone that you're looking forward to some serious social intercourse tonight.	92. Give directions to someone who hasn't asked.	93. Gleefully shout "Wheeeeee." during an escalator ride.
94. Ask a neighbor to borrow a cup of water.	95. Send a new father card to someone who will be real surprised.	96. Spend an hour reading the directions of minute rice.
97. Think of ways to make your knuckle hair grow faster.	98. Go to a strangers funeral and ask the family for the twenty bucks the deceased owed you.	99. Ask someone else's boss to give you a letter of recommendation.
	100. Buy another one of our hilarious comedy posters.

Gigantear
$20.99

Idiotic Table Of Elements
$20.99

100 Sure-Fire Ways To Beat Stress
$20.99