Do you know what I hate
almost as much as people who talk to me? People who talk to me and, because
it's such a long and boring story about their meaningless life, have to ask
the question,
"Are you paying attention to me?"
Man, that irks me. Of course I'm not paying attention to your idiotic lament, you dweeb. I have other things to do. Like devise ways to avoid you in the future.
It was during one of these gut-wrenching moments shared by me and someone who's life was in a dramatic free-fall or was aggrieved because the TV Guide didn't come on time (I REALLY wasn't paying attention to that one) when it hit me.
There should be a way to let people know just how much attention you're paying them. But I knew an invention like that would take many resourceful minds and skilled technicians (none of whom inhabit my address book).
So I did what I do best, I called my louts and we hashed out this important matter.
After about 20 minutes spent discussing this months issue of Kitty Porn we got right to it. Within minutes we came up with it. The perfect invention to let people know how close you are to stabbing them in an aorta with a jagged spork.
And we called it
Current Attitude Level
With C.A.L. answering pesky questions from such people as the police,
"Didn't you see that guy you ran over in the crosswalk? Were you paying attention to the situation?"
Your significant other,
". . .and then my boss said if I don't like it I can just. . .are you paying attention to me?"
That idiot sitting next to you who thinks you're his personal shrink,
". . .then my mother would take the Jell-O and stuff it up my. . .are you listening?"
All you have to do is show them your shirt or coffee mug (or hold up a free sign you can get by clicking here) and they'll have the answer without you having to even look at these dweebs.
So, get a full line of C.A.L. to fill every situation and return yourself to the peace and tranquility that is your divine right!
If we can get those bothering bastards away from us.
As always, if you'd like this item on any other product, just click here, let us know and we'll be more than happy to take care of that for you.
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
 $17.99 |
 $13.99 |
