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We now have MATERNITY T-SHIRTS available in both white and black. E-mail us for maternity shirt design requests and we will place it up for you ASAP.

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Welcome to our Crude & Funny section! If you're looking for something that is unique, bizarre, funny and/or offensive you are in the correct section :)

Crude tees, unique humor, funny t-shirts & much more. All designs are offered on t-shirts, buttons, stickers, mouse pads, aprons, magnets and many other items, so browse around until you find something that you like!

Close Only Counts In Hoseshoes T-Shirts

Close Only Counts In Hoseshoes T-Shirts
So you ever use the old saying 'Close Only Counts in Horseshoes and Hand Grenades'? If so, this t-shirt is perfect for you. Also makes a great gift for someone hard to buy for.

Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.

Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.
This really makes a great drinking or party shirt, but also works great on a variety of other items that we have for sale. "Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes."

I'm a Motherfuckin' Princess

I'm a Motherfuckin' Princess
A funny t-shirt design to let people know who's in charge. Perfect for a gift or for yourself.. this pretty pink design says "I'm a Motherfuckin' Princess."

Always wash your balls

Always wash your balls
This nurse is giving some good advise.. make sure to listen! "Always wash your balls"

My Last Four Scores T-Shirts

My Last Four Scores T-Shirts
This funny t-shirt parodies Abraham Lincoln's "four scores" speech. This funny t-shirt says "My last four scores were seven years ago." So, if you know someone who hasn't gotten laid in a while, this

You Are A Douche T-Shirts

You Are A Douche T-Shirts
It's amazing how many douches you run across these days. Say what you are thinking without even opening your mouth with this "you are a douche" design.

Out Of Money Experience Shirt

Out Of Money Experience Shirt
This funny t-shirt says "I am having an out of money experience." A funny phrase for anyone who is broke, which is an obvious parody of having an out of body experience, except with money!

Stop Staring At My Teddies

Stop Staring At My Teddies
This funny t-shirt features two teddy bears placed over the boob area of the shirt, and the text "Stop Staring At My Teddies"

I Know Shit From Shinola

I Know Shit From Shinola
This "I Know Shit From Shinola." t-shirt design is a great take on the old phrase "He doesn't know (or You don't know) shit from Shinola." A funny design that makes a great gift.

Bass Jumping

Bass Jumping
This funny Bass Jumping shirt has a great double meaning. In fact, if you play bass, and base jump this could quite honestly be a perfect shirt for you... but is also fitting if you like either one.

Guitar, Pluck It

Guitar, Pluck It
This design is along the lines of our BLOW ME harmonica. This t-shirt features a silhouette of an acoustic guitar with the text "Pluck it." A funny design for any guitar player.

I'd Hit It.

I'd Hit It.
This is a hilarious t-shirt design with a set of bongo drums and the text "I'd hit it.", great for any drummer. We also have a funny design with a regular drum set, just visit BizarreTees.com > Humor

Silicone Ribbon, Support Fake Boobs

Silicone Ribbon, Support Fake Boobs
There are an awful lot of Support Ribbons out there, but none like this. This ribbon is made of silicone and has the text "The Silicone Ribbon, Support Fake Boobs"

Harmonica Blow Me

Harmonica Blow Me
This shirt features a harmonica, also known as a "Mouth Harp" with the text Blow Me. A very funny design for any music lover, player of the harmonica or anyone with a sense of humor.

I beat it all night long

I beat it all night long
Funny design for any drummer! This design features a drum set and the text "I beat it all night long."

Guns don't kill people, crazy ass motherfuckers do

Guns don't kill people, crazy ass motherfuckers do
Let everyone know how you feel about gun control with this great design! Guns don't kill people... crazy ass motherfuckers do.

Latin:

Latin: "If you can read this you're over-educated"
Latin shirt that translates to "If you can read this you're over-educated" very funny!

Only Your Mother Could Love

Only Your Mother Could Love
This design sounds nice until you think about it a little more. This is a simple item that says 'I have a face that only your mother could love.'

Prairie Doggin T-Shirts

Prairie Doggin T-Shirts
Gotta love a shirt with poop humor. This "Prairie Doggin" t-shirt design features an image of a prairie dog and is an obvious reference to having to poop poking out.

Lead Chinese Toys

Lead Chinese Toys
In the midst of all of these Chinese toy recalls, we may as well turn it into something that folks can laugh over. This 'I'll pump you so full of lead that the Chinese will sell you as a children's to

Bite The Bacon

Bite The Bacon
This simple design is a funny adult humor t-shirt design that says "Bite The Bacon" and features an image of two pieces of bacon. Very funny and is sure to get some smiles.

Drink Bob's Banana Juice Shirt

Drink Bob's Banana Juice Shirt
This crude shirt shows an image of a banana with the text "Drink Bob's Banana Juice." A parody advertisement with a crude but funny double meaning. Crude blow job humor.

Skin Flutist

Skin Flutist
Is it Flutist or Flautist? Well, "Flutist" has been used for longer, which is why it is placed on our masturbation-humor shirt "Skin Flutist". If you love to jack off, and want to crack a smile, this

Enjoy the Taste-splosion of my Dick

Enjoy the Taste-splosion of my Dick
This crude but funny t-shirt design is a knock-off of those corny advertisements that you sometimes see. Especially the ones that use dumb made up words.... this shirt says "Enjoy The Taste-splosion..

You're More and More Douchey T-Shirts

You're More and More Douchey T-Shirts
This crude t-shirt says "Every time you open your mouth you sound more and more douchey." We all know a douchebag, wear this shirt and let them know how much of a douche they are.

Douche Free Zone Shirts

Douche Free Zone Shirts
This is a funny image showing a douche with a 'no' symbol. Along the top it has the text 'Douche Free Zone.'

You Are NOT A Pirate T-Shirts

You Are NOT A Pirate T-Shirts
Are you tired of the "Pirate Fad" going on right now? With movies, t-shirts and Talk Like A Pirate Day this "You Are NOT A PIRATE Damn It!" t-shirt design is perfect for you.

MILF Monkey

MILF Monkey
Everyone loves a MILF, however this M.I.L.F. design adds a slight twist... this funny Monkey I'd Like To Fuck design is perfect if you want to make some friends giggle, or start up a few conversations

Hunting with Dick Cheney

Hunting with Dick Cheney
Hilarious design that says "I'd still rather go hunting with Dick Cheney than driving with Ted Kennedy". But Ted Kennedy is still ahead on the body count.

(arrow) Mother is a whore

(arrow) Mother is a whore
If the person standing next to you has a whore for a mother.. why keep it inside? Let the whole world know with this great design! An "I'm with stupid" parody, this features an arrow with the text "Mo

Team Sugartits

Team Sugartits
It's not every day that a drunken Anti-Semitic actor/director calls you sexually obnoxious names. If you can't support Team Gibson, join "Team Sugartits" to show who's side you're on!

I have unwieldy pig nads.

I have unwieldy pig nads.
Crude and funny design, letting everyone know how unwieldy your pig nads are!

Waterhead

Waterhead
Simple design with the text "waterhead." A really offensive design to get for a retarded friend of yours.. or for yourself, if you're retarded. ;)

I shat in the green onions

I shat in the green onions
There are so many E. Coli outbreaks that make the news. This funny design features lettuce and green onion graphics and the text "I shat in the green onions... and I wiped my ass with the lettuce... a

Progression of Life

Progression of Life
Funny "Progression of Life" design showing a baby bottle, cola bottle, beer bottle, and IV drip.

Ewe is not fat, Ewe is a BIG BITCH!

Ewe is not fat, Ewe is a BIG BITCH!
Forget about "Ewe is not fat, Ewe is fluffy".. Ewe is a BIG BITCH!

Bi-Polar (bear)

Bi-Polar (bear)
This polar bear wears pasties, red thong panties and is holding a martini and the bi-sexual flag. This funny design has the caption "Bi-Polar (bear)". Go ahead and laugh, you know you want to.

Beware of Ninja Beaver

Beware of Ninja Beaver
Beaver Ninja is coming to get you.. and he KICKS ASS! This Japanese Beaver is dressed up in his red Ninja gear holding his sword. Don't be fooled by his squinty eyes and buck teeth.

Uncle Sam wants YOU... to stop fidgeting with your

Uncle Sam wants YOU... to stop fidgeting with your
Uncle Sam wants YOU... to stop fidgeting with your nuts. Hilarious and crude American design... Uncle Sam looks pretty pissed you, you better drop those balls before he kicks your ass.

Middle Fingers & Smiley Face

Middle Fingers & Smiley Face
This weird and bizarre design features a wave of "fuck you" middle fingers... ending with a smiley face and the text 'Have a nice day'. Hey, we're not called Bizarre Tees for nothin' ;)

Udapimp Idaho

Udapimp Idaho
Is there really a Udapimp, Idaho? Well, no. But it's still funny... and this t-shirt will almost certainly start some conversations.

Give Peace a Chance! (but if that doesn't work...)

Give Peace a Chance! (but if that doesn't work...)
Hilarious design "Give Peace A Chance! (But if that doesn't work, I have a .45, two blackjacks, four knives, a stick and a hungry pit bull.) - I love this design because it looks so innocent until you

Knob Gobbler

Knob Gobbler
This design is funnier for the fact that there is no text, it simply features a doorknob + a turkey.. which obviously equals "Knob Gobbler".

Fear My Monkey

Fear My Monkey
Your monkey is dangerous.. make sure to warn everyone to FEAR YOUR MONKEY!

Ninjas are the shiznit

Ninjas are the shiznit
Ninjas are the shiznit! If you think Ninjas are awesome, let everyone know.. and maybe the ninjas will spare your life after they see how much you respect them. Sweet ass!

Ninjas are wicked sweet

Ninjas are wicked sweet
Ninja's are wicked sweet! Wear this shirt proudly to show your ninja love!

It Tastes Like Strawberries (down arrow)

It Tastes Like Strawberries (down arrow)
A crude but funny design suitable for men and women. What tastes like strawberries you ask? Well, that my friend has to be left up to the imagination!

Time can heal all wounds... Funny

Time can heal all wounds... Funny
Funny tee design! "Time can heal all wounds (or it can allow a lot of opportunity to reflect on what a prick you are.)" Also available on a wide variety of other products and unique gifts!

Kanji

Kanji "Dog and "Treasure" (poop)
Kanji design that says "Dog Treasure"... featuring a nice steamy poop.

Skeleton

Skeleton "Smoking turns you gay."
A skeleton wearing a poofy hat - "Smoking turns you gay." If you like offensive t-shirts, stickers, hoodies & more... this design pretty much cuts the cake!

Kanji

Kanji "Death Wind" Very Silent... Very Deadly
Kanji characters that say "Death" and "Wind" - Very Silent... Very Deadly

I'm The Shit T-Shirts

I'm The Shit T-Shirts
Who's the shit? You know that you're the shit.. so shove it in people's faces! This funny "I'm the shit" design is sure to crack a smile. Perfect for anyone with a sense of humor.

Don't Eat The Worm Mexican Skeleton

Don't Eat The Worm Mexican Skeleton
This t-shirt design features a crazy Mexican skeleton holding a butcher knife with the text "Don't eat the worm." Apparently the tequila has made him a little crazy.

Fart Humor

Fart Humor "I dealt it"
Funny design... nobody knows who smelt it, but you can let them know that you dealt it. If you love fart humor or farting jokes this is for you!

Retro I Just Pooped Myself

Retro I Just Pooped Myself
A neato retro design with two gals whispering... what are they saying you ask? "I just pooped myself!" What a funny retro design, can't miss with this one!

(middle finger) Fuck You

(middle finger) Fuck You
A neat funky design of a middle finger with "F-U" underneath it.. which of course stands for Fuck You, but if you didn't know that you're a chode. Graphic has a hand-drawn 80's type of look. Enjoy.

You Smell Like Porn

You Smell Like Porn
Yuck, wash that porn off, boy! You STANKY! Neat design with a retro type of look to it that says "You smell like porn". What does porn smell like? Don't ask me, YOU'RE the expert!

Does a bear shit in the woods?

Does a bear shit in the woods?
An answer to the age old question... now you can wear it with pride! Does a bear shit in the woods? Yes!

Up my ass for a ham sandwich?

Up my ass for a ham sandwich?
I think this pig just had a heart attack! Leave his ass alone you perv! Great shirt that shows a scared pig saying "Go up my ass for a ham sandwich?!" - perfect if you ever used that phrase growing up

Five Dolla' Fucky Sucky BARCODE

Five Dolla' Fucky Sucky BARCODE
Great barcode items with "5 dolla' fucky sucky", available on funny tees, buttons, stickers and more!

For 10 dolla you get every'ting you wan!

For 10 dolla you get every'ting you wan!
This design goes along with the barcode "5 dolla fucky sucky" design. A hilarious and crude item that is one of the best movie quotes! "For 10 dolla you get every'ting you wan!"

I'm trapped in an abusive relationship with my wan

I'm trapped in an abusive relationship with my wan
"I'm trapped in an abusive relationship with my wang"


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