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FunnyJesusPokerShirts : Mating Victims

CLICK HERE TO RECEIVE $50 FREE TO PLAY POKER. NO CREDIT CARD, NO DEPOSIT, NO JOKE.

To expedite the mate selection process, let strangers know your label. What's YOUR label? Create one. See below for details.

NEW! BLACK SHIRTS JUST ADDED! Send an email to "televictim@hotmail.com" if you would like a black shirt design created.

The generic, simple look communicates. Minimalism. No attention lost to color or design. The message goes straight to the brain, and at FunnyJesusPokerShirts, it's all about the message!

CUSTOMISE! Send a detailed email to "televictim@hotmail.com" to customise your order (blank shirt back, two designs on a shirt, smaller design...etc.). I want to please your ass. I'll create whatever your ass wants.

Submit an original statement for potential financial gain (that means money from me to you). If I like it, I'll pay (your ass)! Write to "televictim@hotmail.com"

DISCOUNTS: Email to televictim@hotmail.com (subject="discounts") for current offers.

www.televictim.com ... where it all starts.

"people know me"

"people know me"
I'm kind of a big deal.

"future ex"

"future ex"
But let's live for today.

"famous"

"famous"
People know OF me.

"attractive"

"attractive"
Like the great Coach Lombardi said, "Looks aren't everything. They're the ONLY thing."

"rich"

"rich"
Just look at this nice, expensive-looking shirt.

"for a good time call"

"for a good time call"
The public bathroom wall meets your chest.

"unavailable"

"unavailable"
Don't get what's left of your hopes up.

"wealthy"

"wealthy"
If you are superficial, we are a perfect match.

"good-looking"

"good-looking"
Appearances to the contrary notwithstanding.

"your phone number"

"your phone number"
Advertise your phone number right on your chest.

"IM4U"

"IM4U"
"I am for you". And only you. It's fate that I am wearing this now.

"SWF"

"SWF"
SWF=Straight White Female; SWM=Straight White Male; GBF=Gay Black Female; BWM=Bi White Male ... etc. Whatever label/abbreviation you want. Click here for details.

"single"

"single"
I get to the front of chairlift lines.

"available"

"available"
For whatever you want.

"approachable"

"heterophobe"

"heterophobe"
I fear all that's different. Effective with Hetero Sapiens.

"future widower"

"future widower"
Why wait until the last minute?

"future widow"

"future widow"
I have to move on with my life.

"your name here"

"your name here"
Hey, I have your name on my shirt.

"your face here"

"your face here"
Hey, I have your face on my shirt.

"unknown"

"unknown"
You can say you knew me when.

"Sudoku shirts"

"Sudoku shirts"
Or is it "Su Doku" or "SuDoku"? A nearly impossible puzzle for you and your new friend to complete, on your body. Also, shirts that have two puzzles--one on the front and one on the back.

"separated"

"separated"
... not just at birth--way after birth.

"divorced"

"divorced"
Freedom's just another word for nothing else to wear.

"unrecognized"

"unrecognized"
If you only knew....

"undiscovered"

"undiscovered"
I will be found out one day and won't need this shirt.

"good sense of humor"

"good sense of humor"
I'm soooo funny, and now you know it too.

"trendsetter"

"trendsetter"
I set trends...like pins in a bowling alley.

"trendy"

"trendy"
A design that will never go out of style.

"culture vulture"

"culture vulture"
I feed on culture.

"copyright"

"copyright"
Date yourself. Let them know YOUR year.

"IM plain"

"IM plain"
Or, "I am plane." This is why I fly coach.

"widowed"

"widowed"
Until death do us part, as far as you know.

"engaged"

"engaged"
Locked and loaded.

"married"

"married"
married, buried, harried, waryed, carried ...

"UR4I"

"UR4I"
"You are for I." Or, "you are for me." Grammar won't get in the way our finding each other. It's fate that me am wearing this now.

"hetero"

"hetero"
Too silent as a race for too long.

"was famous"

"was famous"
Remember me? Good for you '70s sit-com actors.

"don't bother"

"don't bother"
I'm not in the mood.

"not gay"

"not gay"
I admit it proudly. You're happier than me.

"desperate"

"desperate"
Guaranteed to get results.

"high maintenance"

"high maintenance"
But worth the effort.

"nonsmoker"

"nonsmoker"
I like air.

"needy"

"needy"
Gimme, gimme, gimme ....

"used to be gay"

"used to be gay"
I'm malleable.

"happy"

"happy"
This is not a fake smile.

"status seeker"

"status seeker"
Impress me.

"social climber"

"social climber"
I climb socials ... so high my ears bleed all over my club shirt.

"bottom feeder"

"bottom feeder"
Give me your tired, your poor, ... etc.

"codependent"

"codependent"
Comes with attachments.

"smoker"

"smoker"
Air blows.

"your mating label"

"your mating label"
What's YOUR mating label? What do you want them to know? If I like it, I'll pay. Click here for details.




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