APOTHEOSIS Art+Design / T-shirts & More

Big Announcement!
My latest sonic doodles are now available on a beautifully packaged compact disc for you to purchase and cherish. Use it to drive away Jehovah's Witnesses and other unwanted visitors.

All designs here are available on T-shirts, and many are available on mini-buttons or coffee mugs. Here and there you can find a wall clock, an apron or a baseball cap. If you want to use the MPAA rating system, I'd say there are shirts here rated G to R, with most of them rated PG-13. There are no NC-17 designs!

While many of these designs are sexual in nature (most but not all are Queer T-shirts), a great many are political. (Yes, I know. I'm a real horse's ass of a liberal, and proud of it!) Still other designs are merely funny.

I love to get feedback and I do sometimes take requests, so don't hesitate to drop me a line at marc@bentinsf.com.

Thanks for stopping in and looking at my store. Come again (and again) often!

My store motto may have a ring of familiarity, but I doubt many know its specific inspiration; Lord Byron was described by a lover, Lady Caroline Lamb, as "mad, bad and dangerous to know." (Fan's of eighties dance/rock band Dead or Alive will know the phrase as the title of their third album.)

Since my old website no longer exists, with its Yoko Ono tribute, and other wierd stuff, I've included these links here to a few friend's sites, and such:

Lorraine Hansberry Theatre
www.LHTSF.org
I work as the director of audience development & webmaster at LHT. This is my third ever attempt at a commercial website, and I've been told it's my most successful design thus far. Note that it is simple HTML, with no need for plug-ins. Anyone with any computer can view it.

Ted Warren's
Strange-Hungers.net
Ted is a dear friend, and one of the few people I know who might be as twisted as I.

Billy Keyworth's
KeyworthGraphics.com
Billy is one of my oldest friends, and a very talented designer.

Ed Felix is a
DeeJay and Photographer
who lives in Mesa, Arizona (near Phoenix).

Leslie Jordan: Like a Dog on Linoleum
Official Merchandise from Leslie Jordan's one man show. You've seen him on Will & Grace, Boston Legal and in the cult film Sordid Lives.

Music CD
Bernice is back after over twenty years! Noise music with a quirky pop sensibility.

"Love and Shinola"
Can you tell Love from Shinola?

"999"
Dyslexic Satan Worshipers Unite!

"Gold Star"
What's a "Gold Star Gay?"

"Dirty Boy"
This works on so many levels.

"Snowball"
You know it's a funny thing -- the nastiest tee designs can seem so innocent to the uninitiated.

One Born Every Minute
I don't think this is quite what P.T. Barnum meant...

In memory of Jude Vivers (1943-2006)
Jude was an artist, activist, herbalist and a fierce protector of mother earth. This design relates one of her most profound bon mots.

LXIX
If you don't learn your Roman numerals, how can you know what year certain movies were made?

"FELCH"
Wow, even I think this one's a little disgusting.

Cheer me up...
Nothing cheers like a sexual favor! (2 designs)

"State Champion"
More states to come. If you don't see your state, email me, and I'll create one for you! ("Champion Box Eater" also available)

"Got Spunk?"
Yum!

"Theres a Time & a Place for Everything"
There's a Time and a Place for Everything: Two different versions!

"Androstadienone"
The Human Male Pheromone that attracts straight women and gay men.

"I Like Black Men"
I did this as a special request for Stanley.

"First Date"
What will YOU do on the first date? (3 versions)

"Fingerbang"
I'm gonna fingerbang-bang you into my life...

"...Can't Think..."
Penny for your thoughts...

"Not the Boy Toy"
This design started as a custom job for Leslie Jordan's personal assistant, who was tired of people jumping to the wrong conclusion.

"Love my Penis"
Also available, "Love my Vagina"

"Looks like another night...
...home alone breaking cinder blocks with my dick."

"Enjoyable Conversation"
Here's the secret to turing any boring conversation into a good time.

"Black Men Do It..."
...With Power

"Curious"
I'm curious, yellow...

"Fister"
The game that ... uh, well ...

"I eat meat"
"...and I swallow." (two designs)

"No Underwear"
How many ways can you say it?

"I wonder..."
...what you'd look like naked.

"F*** Me Hard"
If you're gonna f*** me, f*** me the way I like it.

"My Pole. Your Hole."
Also available: "My Hole. Your Pole."

"Vagitarian"
I made this one especially for George, my terminally straight roommate.

"My girlfriend won't wrestle..."
... but you should see her box.

"Cum Cum Cum"
I wonder what The Beach Boys would think about this.

"You'll Do"
We're all looking for our prince, but in the meantime...

"I'm as much of a man..."
This is probably the untimate put down of arrogant, selfrighteous, homophobic pricks.

"Off-Duty Drag Queen"
For when you just don't feel like wearing that Bob Mackie gown, those six-inch stilettos, and eight pounds of makeup.

"Which do you play when at play?"
What ever your role, here's a shirt to declare it.

"Words can't hurt you"
Sticks and stones might ... Currently 40 designs in this section!

"How do you Measure Up?"
Show 'em what you're packin' down there. Avilable for guys with from 6 to --gasp-- 14 inches!

"Say No To Bush"
This statement can have several meanings: An aversion to President Bush, an aversion to pubic hair, or even an aversion a certain part of the female anatomy.

"Too Low to Kick"
Some of my more apolitical friends convinced me to do this shirt. We'll see how well it sells.

"Tongue in Ckeeks"
A "cheeky" reference to a rim job...

"I Give Great Head"
If you have a talent, let the world know!

"Life is Short - Play Naked"
Personally, I like playing Naked Twister...

"Cheap & Easy"
Sometimes it's not enough just to let folks know you're available.

"Not Cheap"
Hmm ... I don't recall Andrew Jackson having an earring. What is that? Four gauge? Maybe even two-gauge?

"F*** Around?"
Does he or doesn't he? You'll never find out if you don't ask. (2 designs)

"Homosexual Pigs"
This lengthy quote from an Islaamic cleric blames homosexuality on excess pork consumption.

"Grammar Lesson"
Just say no.

"Wide Load"
If you've got it...

"Pardon me, but..."
Does this ever happen to you?

"A Man with a Small One..."
Truer words have rarely been uttered.

"Mine's Bigger"
It's only obscene if your mind's in the gutter (like mine is).

"Face North & Bend Over"
Um, what are you planning to do with that banana?

"Uncle Jack"
Now THIS is Sick!

"Blow Me"
Is this a proclamation of affection? Probably not.

"Firm Yet Supple"
How supple are yours?

"Don't kiss me, stupid..."
"F*** me silly!"

"F***ing Awesome"

"On your knees..."
Do you have the comanding presence to wear this? (2 designs)

"If You Think You Feel Good..."
...just wait 'til you feel me!

"F*** Your Brains Out"
You know the type: Lovely to look at, delightful to hold, and dumb as dirt.

"Hurt You"
A wonderful double-entendre

"No Practice"
I'm not a practicing homosexual. I don't have to practice. I'm good at it.

"I got this way from kissing boys"

"Take Your Teeth Out"
Do you want to take them out?

"Gummy Smile"

"Gum Job"
Who Wants a Gum Job?

"Oil Changer"
I want to work for pro wrestling. as an oil changer!

"Lose My Penis"
Some of us are more forgetful than others.

"Second Childhood?"
Do you simply refuse to grow up?

"Entry in Rear"
Everyone has a position.

"Speed Bump"
"This is Not My Pot Belly (it's a speed bump for sex)"

"Time Flies Like an Arrow"
A Pop Art rendition of a classic Vaudeville joke.

"Gag Glasses"
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas..."

"You Are Getting Sleepy"
Mesmerizing!

"Runner-Up"
Remember Tippi Hedren in Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds?"

"Eternal Riddle"
But this doesn't make sense. (Right.)

"The Scarlet Letter"
Most of us read it in high school, so we all know what the scarlet letter "A" stands for.

"I Love Everybody"
For the bisexual in everybody--

"I Still Swallow"
Prove that you love me.

"Unnatural Sex"
"The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform." --Dr. Alfred Kinsey

"Better Blatant than Latent"
I had a really outrageous friend who'd go around saying this all the time.

"Deeply Appreciated"
Your Criticism is Deeply Appreciated... (Warning! This is a very rude shirt!)

"Cool Quotes"
Over a dozen designs!

"RHPS"
Let there be lips! (three designs)

"If You Don't Vote...
... You're Part of the Problem" and you have no right to complain.

"Lobotomies for Republicans"
Sometimes I wonder if Bush hasn't already had one.

"January 20, 2009"
(George W. Bush's last day in office)

"FUBAR"
When at PSU, a friend of mine and I made FUBAR shirts for the entire population of one of the women's dormitories.

"DILLIGAF"
Here's another design that started life as a T-shirt a friend and I made for a women's dorm at PSU. What the hell does it mean? I'm glad you asked.

"Bernice & the Bedwetters"
Bernice is back!

The Blue Devil Cabaret Lounge
Official Merchandise

"Logo Gear"
Gear featuring both of my logos


	APOTHEOSIS art+design Rude, Crude & Dangerous to Wear