Welcome!
Clicking the images below will take you to the associated merchandise. If you are easily offended, take yourself too seriously, or are otherwise an uptight wanker, go elsewhere. I will be constantly adding new stuff as fast as I can. My hope is to make your laugh or say "Wow, that's wrong." And also get you to buy stuff ;)

INTRUDERS WILL BE TACKLED BY A FAT NAKED PERSON INTRUDERS WILL BE TACKLED BY A FAT NAKED PERSON	Fat, but Dont Sparkle	Super Intelligent
Help The sun's on Fire.	Foci'd in the Asymptote	SON OF A BINOMIAL
Holy shift Holy shift! Look at the asymptote on that mother function.	Shaved Beaver Shaved Beaver, That's what's for dinner!	Clams are Yummy Clams are Yummy
All you can eat All you can eat	Plow Me Plow Me	Muff Diving is Fun Muff Diving is Fun
Cleared for Landing Cleared for Landing	Make Me Purr Make Me Purr	Closed for Maintenance Sorry Closed for Maintenance
Open 24/7/365 Open 24/7/365	Fill 'er Up Fill 'er Up	Kittie Likes Meat
Good to the Bone Good to the Bone	No Shirts No Shoes No Service No Shirts No Shoes No Service $	Save the World, Shoot a Politician Save the World, Shoot a Politician
I Need a Raise I Need a Raise	License Plate FKNURWF California License Plate FKNURWF	F You and your F'n Cig Fuck You and your Fucking Cigarette