News Flash: According to Ann Coulter's new book, Godless: The Church Of Liberalism, liberals are godless and, even worse, a liberal actually worships being godless! We were outraged, as we know you are, to learn of this. In response to this outrage, we promptly ordered our atheistic staff to take an internet-based political affiliation quiz. The results showed that most of us godless atheists are actually conservative-leaning in several of our political views. However, we did discover one of those liberals. We punished her severely for having political views not sufficiently similar to the majority of us. Even more worrying was the revelation that her liberal views were actually nearest to that mythical liberal, Jesus! As a purveyor of fine atheist attire, we could have none of that at our workplace. We sold her to a sweatshop which supplies a well-known Christian Apparel Company. We're sure she'll get her fill of liberal views after her 983rd Jesus Preached Peace hand-sewn tee shirt. Rest assured, we have handled this scandal and are now 100% godless liberal free (whatever that means).
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