American Angst : Humor

These days, everyone literally wears their feelings on their sleeves and we have lots of sarcastic, hilarious products to help you do the same!

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Gnomies are my Homies Who doesn't love garden gnomes? Isn't it about time we stop hiding them & bring them into the fold? Love your gnomes, people! Shout it loud & proud that Gnomies are my Homies!	I Heart to Fart Who doesn't have a son or husband or brother or...someone in their lives who's just so crass and oh-so-proud of their bodily functions? I Heart to Fart products are just for them!	I'd Pee on Your Jellyfish Sting You have to REALLY love someone and be REALLY committed to getting a laugh by proudly displaying your love (and humor) with "I Love You So Much…I'd Pee on Your Jellyfish Sting!" products!	Rosie the Riveter's Pimp Hand Ever REALLY looked at Rosie the Riveter's arms?? They're GINORMOUS! So she should say more masculine things, like "My Pimp Hand is Strong!" ...it's rude; it's wrong. It's called parody. Enjoy!
I Don't Have A.D.D. - Shiny Are you (or a loved one) easily distracted? Going from room to room, task to task? Me too! Which is why "I Don't Have A.D.D., I'm perfectly focu...ooOOooh! Shiny!" products are so perfect for us!	Sofa King "I Am Sofa King We Todd Did" is actually pretty funny. Get people to read it, exactly as written, OUT LOUD. It's hilarious listening to people sound it out when they have NO idea what they’re saying.	Visit South Carolina..Such As People can't find the US on a map because, well, some people don't HAVE maps. Sound off against ignorance with a "Visit South Carolina. Take a left at The Iraq then straight on to Such As" product.	Peace Love Coffee What more is there to say? It's what we all want: Peace Love Coffee!
You Say Bitch Like It's A Bad Thing Since when is strength, confidence, and drive a BAD thing? Shouldn't be, yet such women have been given the label "Bitch" for eons. Turn the meaning around with a "You Say Bitch Like it's a BAD Thing"	EVS Why be just average when you want to say "WhatEVER" when you can raise it to another level, saying it the Aussie way with one of our "EVS" products!	I Don't Have OCD Part of the madness of OCD is endless counting (usually in patterns or multiples). Also we love to deny we even HAVE it, which makes "I Don't Have OCD" ...five times, irony at its finest.	Ding Fries Are Done! Any recipient will be thrilled with our popular Ding Fries Are Done products, especially during the holidays! View the hilarious, pop-culture classic at americanangst.com/dingfries.html.
I Hate People Sometimes the brutal truth is the best way to get your point across. I Hate People products are about as truthful as you can get! Perhaps someone will take a hint (for once)!	Too Cute to Work You know deep down you believe that you're "Too Cute to Work" so why not admit to the world? Honesty just makes things easier. Especially when you're on your way to bigger and better things!	Too Bad Ignorance Isn't Painful We see profound idiots everywhere and wonder if it HURTS being that dumb. That's why "Too Bad Ignorance Isn't Painful!" products are so delicious. If dumb doesn't hurt, at least we have snarky humor!	Unique Like Everyone Else So many think they're oh-so-special, working overtime to keep from admitting a scary truth: that they just might be spectacularly average. Clue 'em in with "Unique...Just Like Everyone Else" products.
Your Proctologist Called It's disappointing how many people have their heads planted firmly up their rear ends, isn't it? Give them a push in the right direction with a "Your proctologist called. He found your head!" product.	Instant Gratification Takes Too Long Is "impulsive" your middle name? Do you tap your foot and huff impatiently at the microwave because it just takes too long to finish? Then Instant Gratification Takes Too Long products are for YOU!	Kind of a Big Deal Shouldn't EVERYONE be aware of your upper echelon status? Join me in schooling the world with a "Kind of a Big Deal" product!	Your OCD..My OCD We usually revel in our OCD routines. It's when another OCD'er gets in the WAY of said routines that we REALLY go nuts! Get 'em out of the way with "Your OCD is Infringing on my OCD" products.
Kosher Are you kosher? Are you cool? Have you been deemed so by one and all? Wear it proud with a Kosher product! (Which, of course, are not actually kosher.)	Not Kosher Perhaps you aren’t kosher yourself and are proud of it (you should be!) or you want to let someone else know that THEY aren’t kosher…we have many products with which to make your feelings known!	I Hate Everybody & You're Next	If It's Not One Thing It's Your Mother Some people have issues with overly controlling, highly critical mothers, for whom NOTHING is good enough. Those are the people who requested "If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother" products.
Too Bad Ignorance Isn't Painful Items	This Space For Rent	I'm Not Stubborn, My Way is Just Better Everyone ought to know the truth...that you = genius. For those minions who are either confused or not "In the Know," make it clear: "I'm Not Stubborn, My Way is Just Better."	No. You're Ugly. Is there really any reason to beat around the bush? Isn't it time we stop trying to be delicate with everyone's feelings? Enough is enough. Tell 'em before they ask with a "No. You're Ugly" product.
Who Hurt You Baby? In the seventies, come-on lines involved signs and stars. Thankfully, it's evolved (devolved?) into faux emotion. Ask the essential question "Who hurt you baby?" and watch 'em fall at your feet.	You're Just Jealous You're just jealous is a term that really doesn't need any description, does it? You KNOW they're jealous and wish they were as fabulous as you. Remind them of it. Often.	Few Clowns Short of a Circus So many people can't find their way out of a paper bag with a map, lack even basic common sense, and probably won't know you're insulting them with "A Few Clowns Short of a Circus Aren't We?" product!	Hang Up & Drive If you're like me, you are sick and tired of seeing people swerving all over the road, nearly killing people, all because they’re on the phone. Let 'em have it with a "Hang Up & Drive" product!
Men Are Dumb You know it's true. THEY know it's true. Sometimes your friend is crying about the truth of it...sometimes YOU are. Regardless, Men Are Dumb and we shouldn't be afraid to announce it.	Dork Whether it's for you or someone you love (or hate!), a Dork product is the perfect addition to any collection where the owner leads the charge in self-deprecating humor!	Doofus These days we celebrate our flaws and the ability to laugh at ourselves. Lead the charge with a Doofus product.	Sedated Sedated just about covers it. Probably not what The Ramones meant when they wanted it so badly in the seventies, but it certainly applies to "some people" in the here n' now, don'tcha think?
You Suck	Not Okay This is how Paula lets her staff know she is extremely displeased with their service. For instance, when someone forgets to pack her sweatpants for a "Comfortable Trip.” It’s ridiculous…and hilarious!	I'm A Warrior [Green] Paula said it best, didn't she? The world can beat you down, but you can handle anything if: you're a warrior. Live the mantra with your own "I'm a warrior" product. Green Text.	I'm A Warrior [Yellow] Paula said it best, didn't she? The world can beat you down, but you can handle anything if: you're a warrior. Live the mantra with your own "I'm a warrior" product. Yellow Text.
I Don't Do Recreational Drugs "I don’t do recreational drugs" products pay homage to Paula's misguided notion that by inserting "recreational" in her denials, people will assume she doesn’t do ANY drugs.	Puttin' the FUN in dysfunctional Is your life crazy? The people IN it? Instead of lamenting the tragedy of it all, embrace it! Find the humor in it. Make it funny instead of tragic with a “Puttin’ the FUN in Dysfunctional” product!	Badonkalicious Do you have that junk in your trunk that men love so much? Does your girlfriend or wife need to hear how much you love her stuff? Say it with a Badonkalicious product!	Have You Been Sniffing Dumb Dust?
Freak of Nature (Well aren't YOU just a 'lil...)	You're Being Glib	Bald = Beautiful	If I Were A Dog...Put to Sleep If I Were A Dog, I'd Have Been Put To Sleep By Now! products are a great way to smile through the rain, the pain, the not so fun times without dealing in pity.
Boys Have Cooties	Girls Have Cooties	Ya Think?!	Not MY Fault You Suck So many whiners, babies, and blamers. So few who take personal responsibility for their own actions and screwups. Intelligent people unite with an "It's Not MY Fault You Suck" product!
It's Not MY Fault You're Stupid So many whiners, babies, and blamers. So few who take personal responsibility for their own actions and screwups. Intelligent people unite with an "It's Not MY Fault You're Stupid" product!	I'm So Old I Fart Dust Age humor! "I'm So Old I Fart Dust" products are a perfect gift idea for that special, over-the-hill person.	Today's Your Day in the Barrel Today's Your Day in the Barrel is quite an improper saying and becomes exceptionally clear with a little (dirty) thought. Suffice to say it's useful if you're in need of a bold statement!	Admitting You're An Asshole is the First Step Who cares what they think? Proudly wear your snarky attitude with an Admitting You're an Asshole is the First Step product.
Bumper Stickers Make your car your own and let people know who you are with any of our dozens of funny bumper stickers.