Amere Mortal Online Store : Smartass Quips and Quotes

They say laughter is the best medicine, so spread some joy and good health with one of these humorous designs. Treat yourself or a loved one with one of these smartass quips on t-shirts, coffee mugs, stickers and much more. Don't see anything you like? Then click on "More Smartass Quotes" at the bottom for links to other great Cafepress stores with smartass quotes and funny sayings.

There Are No Stupid Questions There are no stupid questions - only stupid people. Tell it like it is with this classic smartass design.	I Haven't Lost My Mind Ever put something away where you know it wont get lost or damaged, and then forgotten where you put it. You know you've put it Somewhere Safe...	Fantasy World 1 This smartass quip lets people know that you live in a fantasy world because this one sucks!
Armchair Pilot Do you have a fighter ace living in your lounge room? Then get them one of these humorous tees that says it all.	Fantasy World 2 This smartass quip lets people know that you live in a fantasy world because they make this one suck!	Hip to be Meh Teens will love this smartass quip that parodies the old saying "hip to be square"
If You Can't Beat Them A deliciously dark design, this original quote is perfect for the 'quiet' ones. Bullies beware.	I'm one of "them" Live dangerously with this funny but provocative statement in two designs on our new cardinal or black t-shirts, and a range of white apparel including sweatshirts and hoodies.	I'm Not Stubborn And that is Final! This smartass design tells people you have made up your mind, no matter what they say!
They feel better than they look. Flaunt 'em and taunt 'em! This cheeky tee is bound to get you noticed. And it is available on boxers for the boys!	I'd Still Say No If you were the only boy in the world, and I was the only girl... the answer would still be no!	Your're So Vain Get a laugh with this smartass quote that will have everyone asking "is it me?". Great gift idea available on black and cardinal t-shirts, and a range of white apparel.
Well Baited - Hooked? How many can you catch? This humorous design is bound to get them curious. Great gift idea for the fisherman who likes to boast about the size of his tackle.	Rainbow Well Baited Colorful rainbow version of this cheeky humorous design, which has "Hooked?" printed on the back. Available on a range of apparel including sweatshirts and hoodies.	Breathing on my Lapel Pin one of these smartass mini buttons to your shirt, suit or blazer and wait for the groans. Great joke pins in a range of colours
Twins Both Barrels Pregnant with twins? Got twins? Then he definitely was not shooting blanks! This humorous original design is available on a wide variety of apparel.	Seeing Double This smartass design is just for identicals. Answer the question before they ask it. Available on a range of apparel, it is a great gift idea for teen and grownup twins.	20 Questions Ever look at someone and wonder if they are animal, mineral or vegetable? Relax, it's just God playing 20 questions!
Catch of the Day Make a splash with this cheeky humorous design available on a range of apparel. Let everyone know how fresh and tasty you are!	Toxic Gas Generator Beware the bio gas! This humorous design makes a great gift for the men in your life.	Made From Local and Imported Ingredients In todays jetsetting society, marrying someone from another country is no longer novel. This smartass quip celebrates diversity and immigration, promoting multiculturalism with humor.
Smile if you like what you see Great as a flirt shirt or pickup tee, this humorous design will help take some of the guesswork our of dating.	Retro Chaste This retro design is sure to be a hit with those who are choosing abstinence as a lifestyle. Available on a range of apparel and gift items.	Chased - but Chaste Worried that people think you are popular for the wrong reason? Set them straight with one of these cool products.