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Orchestra in a Forest

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Statistically Speaking . . .

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Who's counting the rests?

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Dry Humor Goods

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where is this wonderful box

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my dog ate my report

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dog dollars millionaire

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texting thru the snow

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walking to the internet thru the snow

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when the going gets tough

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My other bumper sticker says something funny

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If Thoreau worked in management . . .

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E-A-D-G, Right?

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Bass and Viol

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If I practiced . . .

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I used to play the organ

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Bowings? Bowings?

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I had this nightmare . . .

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"I'm not lost, I'm practicing my page-turning"

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"Special" rosin . . .

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rushing is not PC

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How Many Bruckners

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By "out of tune" . . .

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My section leader . . .

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What part of 4' 33"

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my dog ate my . . .

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my dog ate my etude

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Every brass player does it

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Thank you NEXT

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currency of the gods

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we love the PM

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another man against . . .

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i AM using . . .

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percussion mastercard

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Real Men Don't Rehearse

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Peter VS the Wolf

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JS Bach, Superstar

SHOPKEEPER BIO

Justin Locke Productions
Boston, MA

Real Men Don't Rehearse

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Note while some designs are instrument specific, most are not. Ladies, there are shirts cut just for you, and fyi the "dark shirts" come in multiple colors. Also, we are working hard to give you more text color options! More designs are always in the works, so check back often. And please be sure to check out my book, Real Men Don't Rehearse, my family concerts (Peter VS the Wolf), also videos on my website and my blog at justinlocke.com!

Okay, below you will find a fun little tour of a few samples to browse through. Fyi, clicking on a design will make dozens of options appear at right, on shirts, sweatshirts, mugs, and so on. Also, for your convenience, all designs are listed above. New items are being added constantly! These are perfect gifts for the musician who has everything . . . or nothing! Also, if you haven't already done so, be sure to check out my book, "Real Men Don't Rehearse"!

Okay, here we go: Nothing leads to success quicker than lowered expectations! When you walk in wearing this first shirt, everyone will be thrilled with you no matter what you do:

Note, "Dark" shirts are available in many other colors.

Next: Every new generation of professional musicians is faced with that age-old question, "can you ever do TOO much sucking up to the personnel manager??" The answer, of course, is "absolutely not!" To that end, here's a little number designed to give you a step up for that next round of hiring:

Can you really afford NOT to wear one of these? Wow, you must be really good!!

Ok, this next item: Are you bothered by a pesky concertmaster who is on a non-stop power trip? Well who ain't? Anyway, one way to deal with it is to show up for rehearsal in this sassy little number:

Next: We have all known the misery of having a conductor who will actually ask the bass section for things like articulations and vibrato and all sorts of other things that I could never remember how to do. If you suffer from this problem, a simple gesture to the pithy text on this t-shirt or sweatshirt may be all you need to save the day:

Next up: Are you scheduled to play Bartok's Music for Strings, Percussion, and Celeste next week? Or worse, are you playing one of those contemporary pieces where the part looks more like stereo instructions than sheet music? Then you can't afford to go to rehearsal without one of these:

Next: You've been through it a thousand times: a stand partner, or maybe even more annoying, a cello player in front of you, saying "Ewwwww! That B flat was OUT OF TUUUUNE!!!" Well, always remember, justifiable homocide is a dodgy defense, and besides, it will be much less messy to just wear one of these two items:

Or even better:

Okay, we've all been there-- that starnge bizarre portal into the fourth dimension where time becomes meaningless-- I am referring, of course, to a Bruckner Symphony Rehearsal. To create an ilusion of time moving again, may we suggest the following divertissement

And the following two t-shirts, well, hopefully you can find lots of places to wear them:

And now you can also wear "Justin Locke Productions" T-shirts, including the logo of "Peter VS. the Wolf," the modern children's classic that has been performed all over the world:

And finally, the design that started it all, the cover of "Real Men Don't Rehearse":

Note, to buy the book, please visit JustinLocke.com!

Thanks for visiting! I am eager for feedback on the usability of the sites, and if there's anything that needs fixing! Best, Justin Locke

All media on this site © Justin Locke