AcmeVaporware's Feng Shui TorpoFluxometer

Welcome to the AVW Chi Optimization Station (that is, AVW StuporStore #3). AVW's Advanced Torpo-Divination Maquiladora chugs 24/7 to help soul architects maximize superior cruise-packet vector integrity. The AcmeVaporware Feng Shui Torpo-Fluxometer for Unflinching Somatic Vector Orientation enables anyone to instantly determine which direction to orient their bodies -- or beverages -- for maximum chi optimization.